Truth In My Lies

23 | Alcohol is my coping mechanism

Adalia POV

I push the top off of the bottle and chug it. I stare off into the distance, not really looking at anything in particular, but my gaze is on a blank spot on the wall.

I push the hair out of my face just as I hear my phone go off rapidly. I tip the bottom of the bottle up and lean my head back against the headboard.

I haven't answered or even been on my phone all day as today is the day I am alone with my thoughts. Well, me and my vodka.

My parents aren't home. They've been away for a few days. They also weren't home for Christmas either. Sophie offered to spend it with me, but I said I'll just spend it with Ariel, Maddilyn, and Alex at his house. Which I did.

The past few weeks, I've been doing a lot of undercover work with Asher, including meetings and clubs. I'm pretty sure he had something today, but I wouldn't know.

I haven't moved today unless it was to use the bathroom or get another bottle. I've had no contact with anyone today and haven't slept since my nap yesterday.

I hear my phone go off again in the distance, and I have no clue who it could be since most people know not to contact me. Not today.

Today is January 28th. And as Luke from Gilmore girls would have referred to it, my dark day. I isolated myself and sat in the dark in complete silence. Well, besides my mind.

I close my eyes as I take another sip and let my mind wonder, yet I have to stop letting it go loose because I don't want to think about him. I can't take any more tears.

I finish the bottle, gulping down the rest once his face becomes clear in my mind. He'd be so disappointed in the fucked up piece of shit I've become.

Tears fall down my face and I groan throwing the glass bottle towards the ground. It smashes instantly and I hear my sobs in the air. My hands lock in my hair as I grip it tightly trying to relieve some of the pain in my chest.

I can hear my heart pounding in my ears. I squeeze my eyes shut as I feel the attack coming on for the third time today. Tears are flowing rapidly down my face soaking my shirt.

Your a monster.

I watch my hand shaking as I gasp for my breath again but the more I try the more it seems to avoid me.

You should have been dead instead of him.

"Stop." I gasp but it sounds so faint coming from me. I let go of my hair grabbing the pillow and screaming as my thoughts get louder.

You killed him.

I use the strength left to walk towards my closet and get to the mini alcohol cabinet hidden behind my clothes. I try to find the strongest one but my vision is blurry.

Just as I'm about to open the bottle, I feel it being snatched from my hands. "What are you doing?"

"No, no, no, no.." I keep muttering under my breathe reaching towards him for the bottle. "Please." My voice trembles and I reach for it again, trying not to snap.

"No." He holds it so I can't get to it. I feel my heart increase faster than it should, my breathing follows suit.

I walk back behind my clothes grabbing another bottle and struggling to open it with my shaking fingers. Just as I hear the top hit the floor, I'm already trying to poor it down my throat.

"Adalia," he pulls my shoulders back and I drop the bottle, me falling along with it.

I scream when glass shards hit my skin from the bottle. He is immediately on his knees pulling me up from the broken glass he tries to grab me and I pull away. "Why are you here!"