Two Worlds

13

Leah POV

I was glad Em wanted to sleep in my bed. I just liked to know that she felt the same way as me and I wasn't on the wrong page.

the room was silent, but the voices in my head were louder than anything. 

I felt myself just lying there, looking up at the ceiling, wondering if Emily was asleep or not

I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to talk to her all night long, but just didn't know what to say.

I knew once I started ut would just flow out of me, but what do I say first

it was as if Emily was reading my mind 

"what are you tossing and Turning about over there" she exclaimed

I wasn't even aware that I was fidgeting.

"sorry, did I wake you?" I responded, unaware of the time

"no, don't worry, I couldn't sleep either"

I was glad. glad that she also had things on her mind, but also that I didn't wake her

"what's keeping you up?" I said. I wanted her to start the conversation. I dont know why, I guess I was just scared

"I guess. I guess im just wondering what this is. I love hanging out with you, I really do, and I want to see where it could go. but at the same time, my mind can't help but think about the logistics of it all"

Emily was now facing me. out faces inches apart.

even by Emily just saying that, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders.

"im so glad you said that, em. you're really not alone. I feel the same way. I guess im just scared" I paused

Emily POV

im glad me and Leah were talking about it. I felt so comfortable. she wasn't judging me, nor did she get angry if I said the wrong thing

getting my words out was something I struggled with. I often felt like my opinions weren't valid in some of my previous relationships.

not with Leah. she listened to everything I had to say, even if it didn't make any sense

"I struggle with conversations like this" I said

"I never really know what is the right or wrong thing to say, that is if I even find the words to begin with" I continued

Leah could see that my eyes were beginning to tear up and reached out with one hand to wipe my face

I closed my eyes and held her hand on my cheek

"I am the same" she sighed

"like what I want to say, I dont know if its the right thing. I dont know if you will get offended, but I know I want to be transparent with you" she followed

I didn't know where this was going, it sounded like she was preparing to hurt me.

I braced myself as Leah started to open her mouth

"I want you to be my girlfriend. I really do. I haven't felt like this in a long time. but I also dont want to rush into things and not put myself first. I know we are from two worlds, but im willing to try if you are. what's the point in not even trying"

I could tell she hadn't finished, despite the long pause, so I kept quiet

"there are a lot of things that I have to consider. at the end of the day, I am in the spotlight, and you will be too, whether we want that or not. we can hide it, we can avoid addressing it, but people have their ways, just look at tiktok" 

Leah and I both laughed. she knew that she was all over my tiktok. all the edits and thirst traps, the conspiracies and false claims. 

as much as I tried to understand, I obviously never would fully, as I wasn't living that life. but I got it, it isn't just about us at the end of the day.

I think that's that Leah was trying to get across. She couldn't just do what she wanted, there was so much more to it.

Leah and I continued to pout our hearts out until we eventually drifted off to sleep. I dont know what time it was, I just remember waking up the next morning wrapped In her arms

I could get used to this.

Leah POV

as Emily and I drifted off to sleep, I couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt. guilt that I had brought Emily into a world that she maybe didn't want. guilt that I had said I was ready for something that im not.

what if I wasn't ready for her to be my girlfriend, maybe I just said it because I thought it was what I was supposed to say.

I knew I was being stupid. I did really like Emily. I didn't want to be with anyone else.

I think that just who I am. I had no reason to be doubting myself. Emily was happy. I just couldn't help but overthink everything.