Two Worlds

9

Leah POV

I woke up the next morning with a slight headache in Alex's spare room and my memory of the previous night kind of hazy.

"morning sunshine" Alex said as she strolled in, looking like she had been up for hours, and handed me a glass of water and some paracetamol

"thanks for last night, al, I really mean it, for the past month all I've thought and talked about is the euros, and I don't even think we mentioned it once last night" I said

we chatted for a while, recapping everything that happened and then I decided to head for a shower.

after I had dried off and put some clean clothes on, I greeted Alex in the kitchen where she had breakfast waiting on the table

we sat opposite each other in silence. I think she knew that I had something on my mind, but didn't want to rush me. she knew I would mention it at some point.

Alex was busy talking at me, about what I wasn't so sure, I had zoned out, she was just a muffled noise in the background at this point as I played with my food rather than eating it.

"right" Alex shouted abruptly, bringing me back into the room

"sorry" I mumbled

"if you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to, but at least make small talk" 

"my head is fucked" I responded. I didn't really know what else to say. I wasn't one for talking about feelings. I didn't even really know what was going on, other than I wasn't in the right headspace

"I don't even know. I just feel like I have so much going on at the moment that I haven't really taken time for myself. I don't enjoy my own company anymore, I hate being alone with my thoughts."

Alex knew to just let me speak. she didn't interupt

"I also just can't stop thinking about Emily. a girl im not even in a relationship with. for some reason everyday I come up with 100 reasons why it won't work, when there isn't even anything going on"

"I don't enjoy what I love anymore. football feels like a job. it never used to. I used to love it, it was a hobby to me, a hobby that gave me a life that I love"

I started to tail off. I was rambling and I knew it. nothing was making sense in my head so I didn't expect Al to understand

I looked up from the table for the first time to just see Alex smiling at me. I was confused. I had just told her that I was having an awful time and she's smiling

"thank you" she just said

now I was even more confused

"for what?"

"I knew something was up. you were off last night, I just wanted to let you mention it, but you didn't, so I have you a nudge this morning"

"you're doing too much" al said

"you loved football when that's all that is was. but its not just that anymore. you're the captain of England and you can't pretend that your not. that title comes with commitment and you just have to accept that. but, there does come a point where you need to focus on yourself, isn't that why you took time off? that is what this week is for. time to reset, time to get back to your roots. im not saying forget your captaincy, im just saying dial it back"

Alex and I talked for hours. that's why I loved her. I really could just say what I thought, and tell her what was going on openly and honestly and somehow she just knew what to say

"detach from it" she finished "spend time with your family, with me, with Emily" 

"I don't think Emily wants to see me" I responded

Alex just looked at me like I was being an idiot and laughed

Emily POV:

I was headed down to London tomorrow for a week or so. I had various things on. 

I was complaining to Issy that I was bored and fed up so she invited me down to London with her.

she had a few things to do here and there and was just going for the ride.

it was timed nicely, as I was also due to go to London anyway to spend a few days with some other friends

there was just a night in-between where I had to find a bed, no point coming home.

as I was packing, I debated booking a hotel for the spare night, but decided to wing it

in the back of my mind I was hoping Leah would text me

I didn't want to text her and ask tho, what if she was busy, or didn't want to see me, or even worse felt the pressure to see me just because I'm in London and doesn't actually want to see me.

We still talked, of course, but things had slightly started to fizzle out. more from Leah's side than mine, but it was ok.

I was one for a list. I loved them, I had to write everything down.

I started by making my itinerary 

Tuesday - Train to London @ 2pm (Meet Issy)

Wednesday - Run errands with Issy

Thursday - homeless 

Friday - Meet girls 1pm 

saturday / Sunday - girls

monday  - home time 

now that I knew what I was doing I could plan out my outfits and start packing