Jilted Junkies :||: Kenny x Reader || South Park Fanfiction

Chapter Forty-Five

The four soldiers, and the rest of Cartman's men, all came to the castle with shame. They already knew that he'd be bitching them all out as soon as they broke the news of their failure.

"Are you fucking SERIOUS?!" He screeched from his throne, which was conceitedly adorned in golden plates and trim, and was engulfed with red banners and fabrics with his face imprinted on them, "YOU HAD ONE JOB! How in the hell did you let the Dark Knight get the sword?!"

"How were we supposed to know that the Dark Knight was a chick...?" Clyde mumbled towards him.

"What the FUCK did you say, Warrior Clyde?" Cartman yelled at him, looking deranged as Clyde's eyes stayed glued to the floor.

"Your majesty, you failed to mention to your liege that the Dark Knight was a female!" Butters spoke up to him.

"What the hell does that matter?! I told you assholes that that little demon and his rat found the fucking Dark Knight! I told you from the beginning that they were the ones who'd find them!" He said.

"Aha! There you go again! Playing the pronoun game! You said them! Not he or she!" Butters pointed at him.

"Paladin Butters, do you seriousleh want me to zap you with my wizard staff right now?!" Eric's eyes bugged as he whipped his staff out from beside him, already charging up its power with a lightning spell.

"Now hold on, sire..." Butters put his hand up confidently. Although he, among everyone else, had absolutely no trust in King Cartman's stability, he also knew that he needed him and wouldn't blow him up so quickly, "All I'm saying is that you need to give us more clarity. Nobody knew who that Dark Knight was, or what they looked like until just a few days ago. Maybe you didn't either, but your Gypsy said that he saw the Dark Knight with Damien and Messenger Pip. If you want us to find somebody, then you need to give us more clues as to who we're actually looking for!" Butters told him with frustration, causing all of the soldiers to stare up at him, happy that he could say what they were all thinking.

Cartman huffed and hit his staff against the ground, causing the yellow electricity emitting from the top to die off. He pinched the bridge of his nose, leaning into the armrest on his throne.

"You know, sire, it's possible the Dark Knight would've gotten the sword whether we knew she was a girl or not. The prophecy that King Kyle believes in was written in stone when the Sword of Liberty was put there! Things seemed to fall into place so easily for them... Maybe what's best now is focusing on finding a way to kill the Dark Knight!" Butters told him seriously.

"You don't understand my motives, Paladin! I don't want the Dark Knight dead!" He yelled. Butters face twisted with shock and confusion.

"But... aren't you after her sword? Her power?" He questioned his king.

"No, you dumbass! I want the Dark Knight. I want her here. I want her to be my servant! I want her to work for me. I want her to worship me! I want her to DIE for me!" Cartman exclaimed, causing his entire liege to stare up at him in shock as he sat on the edge of his throne, looking down at them in a crazed state. It was dead silent for a moment, and he leaned back into his seat, realizing he had shared too much. "I want... the Dark Knight here in my Kingdom and kneeling at my fucking feet. If I could've gotten my hands on her before she got the sword, I could've—" He grumbled as he trailed off, burying his face in his hand again.

Butters looked back at his fellow soldiers, who all shrugged and shook their heads.

"Look... you don't have to explain any further, your majesty. We'll do as we're told, and continue to try to capture the Dark Knight and bring her to the castle alive... But we are human soldiers! We can't fight the Dark Knight alone— not anymore!" He exclaimed.