Jilted Junkies :||: Kenny x Reader || South Park Fanfiction

Chapter Forty-Two

"Oh god... Karen was right..." Kenny's heart dropped as he stared at the huge set up in the middle of the street. His parents were hanging upside down by ropes on a huge, wooden structure, with buckets underneath them as if to catch the spilling blood or decapitated heads. Cartman and Scott were laughing and joking together, seemingly unbothered by the dozens of police cars and officers surrounding them, and guns pointed directly at their heads. There was also, of course, a gigantic crowd.

"For the last time! We are looking for Kenny McCormick!! Send him our way immediately or we'll literally fucking kill his parents!!" Cartman screeched through his megaphone towards the chattering people. Helicopters were flying overhead. Some police officers were attempting communication, but the only person they wanted there was Kenny.

"Children?" Kyle, Stan, and Kenny turned and saw Chef shoving past a few people.

"Chef!" The boys exclaimed when they saw him.

"What on Earth is going on here? What is Cartman doing?" He questioned.

"We don't know yet! All we know is he wants Kenny!" Kyle said.

"Chef..." Kenny stared at him with wonder for a second. It was the real deal, and he hadn't aged a day since he last saw him. He didn't have any weird attributes about him, no strange pattern of speaking, no creepy, paranormal movements. He was just good ole classic Chef.

"No, no, no, god dammit! For the last time, he's the little poor kid who always wears an orange parka. Jesus Christ, you guys! This town is fucking tiny! How hard is it to find Kenny? That's it, I'm cutting this bitch's finger off." Cartman screamed before turning to Carol, who suddenly had a look of terror cross over her when he flipped a knife out of his pocket.

"Kenny!" Y/n and Karen both exclaimed.

"You children better get up there!" Chef said, pointing at the construction Scott and Cartman managed to throw together in one night.

Kenny wasted no further time to start barreling through the crowd, not giving a crap who he pushed, shoved, or stepped on on the way there. Y/n and the others tried to follow him as quickly as they could.

"Alright! ALRIGHT, fatass! I'm here!" Kenny screamed as he finally made contact with the big, make-shift podium they were standing on. Cartman stopped instantly, his blade already touching the skin on Carol's pinkie.

"Finally!" He laughed, turning his bloated belly towards him with an evil smile. Kyle slammed his arms against the podium as well.

"What are you DOING?!" He questioned him, "You really think this is gonna make you look good as a candidate for president, you IDIOT?!"

"Kyle, do you really think I'd pull a stunt like this if I cared about that anymore?" Cartman laughed towards him as an instantaneous response. Kyle's face dropped and went pale as a ghost. The rest of the gang, Stan, Token, Craig, Clyde, Tweek, Damien, Pip, Butters, Jimmy, Karen, and Y/n we're standing behind them, staring up at Kenny's parents.

"No... I summoned you all here because I want much bigger things than being president..." He suddenly held the microphone up to his mouth again, "You see, presidency only gives you so much control... you'd think you can drop nukes on North Korea whenever you want," Tweek yelped and twitched at the mention of North Korea, "but then there's the judicial branch, which we all know is respectively full of Jews, as the name suggests, which gets in the way of your plans with their stupid law passing bullshit, and then there's the legislative branch, which is also super lame, and gay, and total bullshit— look, my point is, it's all fucking stupid! I don't care about it anymore! I only want one thing..." He turned back to Kenny before moving the megaphone away from his chubby, smiling face.