It's only a matter of time

Chapter 35

Alex POV

After I've dropped the kids at school I head back to the house to get some work done. I really need to catch up on work, Washington sent up some stuff he needs me to do while I'm here and I'm only half way through it all but that's ok johns at work and and the kids are at school so I think I can get a fair bit done today, although I doubt John will let be work tomorrow he said he say something planned.

After an hour or two I hear a loud knock on the door.  Who the fuck comes here? I walk downstairs and open the door to see a woman with Ever, he's sobbing and runs in and hugs me "I'm so so sorry Alexander I didn't mean to get him hurt" he sobs

I frown and kneel down in front of him  and wipe his eyes "hey it's ok, did something happen?" I ask worried, I know something happened, he wouldn't be here if it didn't. Ever just cries into my shoulder so I hold him and try to comfort him. I look to the woman that's still standing at the door "what happened"

"Uhm there was an incident involving his father John Laurens just 20 minute ago. He was shot in the side and is Now being taken to the hospital." She replies.

I feel my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach. No no absolutely. I need to go see him. Fuck but ever  shouldn't come, I know he deserves to see him but not like this, John wouldn't want him to. I look at ever again trying to hold back my own tear "hey it's gonna be alright ok? Can you stay here with your aunt Peggy and be brave for me?"

"No! I wanna see papa" he cries "what if he dies and I can't see him and it's my fault" he looks down.

"This isn't your fault sweetheart I promise, and you will get to see your papa again, I promise I'll make sure you see him just not right now ok" I shouldn't have made that promise, fuck I don't know what's gonna happen what if he does die and none of us can see him again. I don't want him to die.. I can't lose him not again.

Ever nods slightly then gives me a letter "papa told me to give this this to you" he mumbles. I take it from him and sigh

"Thank you" I hug him "now I need to go ok just stay here, aunt Peggy is upstairs"

After he's gone up I run outside and jump on a horse to head to the hospital. It takes far longer then I need it to to get there but I eventually do i I get off the horse and run in "where is he?! Is breathing? Is he going to survive this?!" I notice a few people I'm pretty sure work for John standing around so I walk over "where's John? Is he still alive?"

"Yeah he's alive,  he's in that room over there" the guy points to a room so I immediately run over and walk into the room. John laying on the bed, he looks tired and in pain and just over all shit.

I walk right up to him and put his note next to him "why the hell would you give me a note you fucking dumbass, you know I will never read that"

He looks at me and smiles "I thought you loved my letters"

"No when you say you'll only give it to me when you die you stupid idiot" I hug him tightly "you're gonna be ok so take your stupid letter shut up about it" I mumble I'm his shoulder

"I love you too" he returns the hugs but I can tell how much that hurts him so I move away. I notice some blood on the sheet that's half covering him so I pull it back

"What the fuck they haven't even tried to stop the bleeding, have they done anything?!" He just shakes his head "fucking hell I'm gonna kill whoever's running this hospital" i storm out of the room "I need a doctor in here NOW before this man dies and you all get killed for it" a few nurses and doctors look over before quickly rushing in.

I walk in as well to see John trying to sit up I walk over and hold his hand "just lay down darling you're gonna be ok I promise"

"Lexi you know that's probably not true.." he says softly, his eyes filling with tears "we've seen this before, you know it's unlikely to survive a gun wound" I just shake my head and squeeze his hand

"No.. no don't say that" i feel the tears running down my cheeks, I feel sick, I don't want to do this, why did this happen. "You're gonna be ok.. ok? You can't go"

He puts his hand on my cheek and smiles "I'm so sorry my love" he reaches for the letter again "I want you to take this.. please and I promise if I do make it you can rip it up and burn it and then yell at me for it" he says, laughing slightly.

I take the letter and force a smile "okay.." I look at the doctors "you need me to go right?" One of them nod so a nurse escorts me out.

I put the letter in my pocket and wipe my eyes. I can't lose him, I really can't, I don't know what to do if I do. How could I tell the kids? How could I tell Martha? And Peggy? And would we stay here I or go back home? And who's gonna finish John's mission abolishing slavery? and the kids, I can't look after them alone, they can't handle losing another parent.