It's only a matter of time

Chapter 31

John POV

The next morning I wake up to see Alexander next to me, wrapped in each other arms. I don't want to wake him or I don't he'll sleep again for awhile. I do need to get to work though.

Maybe just for this month I can look past what he did.. I miss him and I don't wanna wast out time together.. and I still don't trust him when I go back then that will have settled it.

Yeah, I deserve to have my husband here for me, I can act like he didn't do anything, for a few weeks. I'm not going to give up a month with my family because of what he did.

Nevertheless I still need to go to work, so I carefully get out of bed, somehow without waking him. I change and go downstairs and leave for work.

Alex POV

When I wake up John is already gone. I suppose that's for the best, if he was still here I'm sure it'd be awkward. I hope he can trust me again eventually.. I'm not sure what I'd do if he left me. And I know that's a selfish thing to think, but without him and the kids all I have is work and I don't know how long I could do that for.

I want to make a big gesture to him to show him how much I love him. I just haven't figured out what yet. I would ask Martha but I doubt she wants to help, I can't ask Mary cuz I think she's probably still a little upset about the other night. I could talk to James, he's only 19 and I think he's somewhat close to John, at least more so then Henry is.

I get all the kids ready for school and drop them off, as well having to explain to their teachers that I'm not a Paedophile I'm their god father.  After I drop them at school I get James' address and go over there. When he opens the door he looks surprised to see me "Alexander? Uh what's up?"

"Sorry to bother you.. I wanted to talk to you about John.. are you busy right now?" I ask, I feel like I'll regret coming here

"No.. come in" he leads me inside and we go to the drawing room "so what's up with John?"

"We'll be and him sort of got in a fight, we'll not really a fight, I fucked up, and if we were in New York I would know how to make it up to him cuz there are heaps of thinsg there he loves, so I guess I'm just wondering if there's anywhere that has value to John"  I sound ridiculous asking my husbands 19 year old brother for relationship advice

"Uh Not entirely sure, I know he's talked about the bar we're you guys first Met, umm he used to like riding out to the lake a lot, but honestly I think he only cares about places if the right people were there." He replies  "also I'm sure you know this, but he doesn't get jealous, all honesty Martha told me what happened, but yeah John doesn't get jealous, he simply assumes he's done something wrong or is somehow holding you back. Please don't make my brother feel like that again"

I sighs "I never meant to make him feel like that, but I promise it won't happen again, and I'll fix things.. thank you for helping"

He nods "yeah of course.. I'll see you later"he smiles. I nod and leave the house.well that was awkward and uncomfortable, but I think I have an idea.

I make my way back to the house and go to my bags. I always bring the mind and John's old letters with me, almost like a good luck charm

When john gets home from work

The kids are already asleep in bed and Peggy and Martha are talking in the kitchen. Soon John come threw the front door, he looks at me  "hey" he says unenthusiastically.

"Hey..Um I was wondering if I could take you somewhere for like an hour? Not a date or anything like that" I say nervously.

He takes off his coat and sighs "yeah I guess, as long as we're not home late" I smile and walk over to the door

"Thank you," I lead him out side and each get on a horse. We start riding to the lake and I'm pretty sure he can tell

"Why are we coming out here?" He asks as we approach the grassy area in front of the lake. I get off the horse and tie the reign to the tree then John does the same

"Well I spoke to James and he said you used to come out here a lot" I grab the letters out of my pockets before laying down my coat for him to sit on them I sit next to it.

"Ok but that doesn't really tell me why we're here" he sits on my jacket "it's a really nice place though"

"I want to show you these" I hand him the stack of letters and he starts looking at them "they're every letter from anyone that I thought was important enough to me to keep"

"Alex there are hundreds of letters here" he points out

"Yeah.. so let me save you the trouble of looking threw them. All of them are from you, maybe one is from Eliza but that's it. Every single one of these I've kept and over the years I've reread time after time. Jefferson used to write me letters all the time and you can search my entire house or office and I promise you will not find anything remotely related to him, because nothing about him made me want to keep a part of him" i look at him "and honestly this actually isn't all of them. Some of them are in my office, some of them are in my room and some of them are at your place"

He looks at the letters "you really kept all of them.." he looks up at me "why?"

"Because Every where I go I wanna be with you and be reminded of you, I want to be with you and only you forever. Yes I messed up, I know that, but if there is one thing I know it's that no one In this world means anything to me when they're compared to you. I want to be the one that comforts you and makes you happy. Even if it takes you awhile to trust me and be comfortable around me again. Take to your time, but only as long as you know that Jefferson is nothing to me. And I truely mens that I don't want any reminder off him whatsoever"

He smiles slightly "you really mean that don't you?" I just nod. He looks at the letters again "ok.. if you say it won't happen again I'm choosing to trust you and I'm choosing to forgive you because I know you would have thrown theses away if you didn't think about them a lot"

I smile and hug him tightly "thank you so so much, I promise I'm never going to hurt you again, I'm so sorry"

He hugs me back "it's ok.. do you mind if we stay here for a bit before we go home?" He asks, looking back over the lake

"Of course we can" I look at him and smile softly, he's so beautiful "if you don't mind me asking, why is this place so significant?"

He takes a deep breath "as you could guess me and my dad fought the most in the family when I was growing up.. I used to come here if I needed a break from him"

"Oh, I'm sorry things were so hard with your dad growing up" I hesitate before holding his hand. He smiles slightly

"It's ok.. I've moved on from him and after this year I don't have to be near him. So I'm ok" he turns his head to me "plus I guess I should be thankful I have a dad"

"You don't need to say that. I'm glad my dads gone, he was rude and selfish and I was better off without him. You had to live with your dad being an asshole" i reply

"Alright we don't need to argue over who has the biggest daddy issues" he chuckles and puts his head on my shoulder