Butterflies

Chapter Thirty Five

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'And if love be madness, may I never find sanity again.'
~ John Mark Green ~
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The Sun and the Moon
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Isabelle

My happiness from yesterday was short-lived. After eating an impressively made cake, and swimming in the backyard all day, I welcomed my bed with open arms. Only, my bed didn't keep me safe.

The last time I had a vivid nightmare about what happened was a year ago. I had to accept the fact that I can't control my dreams, and sometimes they don't even need to be triggered to happen.

Although I have a sneaking suspicion that this one was caused by the conversation I had with Luna when she was still in the hospital. It was bound to catch up with me eventually.

This one just happened to be a very bad one. I woke up in a panic-like state, thinking he was in my room. It took about an hour for my body to finally give up and realize that it wasn't something real that happened. Just a bad dream.

Though, even after I had calmed down, my mind was still a little messed up, leaving me an overall mess. I took a long shower around 5 a.m, and now it's 6:30, the sun slowly starting to rise.

I dressed myself into a hoodie, and sweatpants, despite the heat that I was feeling. I didn't want my body to be exposed. I need to chill out, just for a second and I'll be good.

I was going to have everyone come over to work on the tree house again, but that idea flew out the window, so I just texted the group chat that I was sick, and they shouldn't come over.

To be honest, I feel sick.

I've pulled the curtains in front of the window, hiding the light that's trying to peek through, and leaving my room in complete darkness. I'm laid in my bed, bundled under all the blankets as if they might protect me.

I haven't closed my eyes though. At least it doesn't feel like I've closed my eyes, not since I woke up. There's a light knock on my door, and then a pause and I know it's my dad. He always waits until I tell him to come in.

"Yeah," My voice is croaky from being used for the first time today, and soft. My voice is so soft. "Can I come in?" My dad askes, and I feel bad to wreck his good mood, knowing he's going to start worrying the minute he walks in. "Yes." I say, even though I just want to say no.

He opens my door slowly, letting bright light flow in, causing me to squint my eyes in pain. The light causes my earlier headache to arise. "Isabelle." He whispers, and I can already hear the concern in his voice.

My body's telling me to put on an act, make it look like I'm ok, but I'm just too exhausted to care. I'll be ok tomorrow, I just need today and then I'll be fine.

I open my eyes, scared of the image my brain might create if I keep them closed for too long. My dad sits on the side of the bed next to me, and feel's my forehead. Maybe he's hoping that I'm sick, and it's not what we both know is going on.

"Honey, you should've come and gotten us," He pauses, looking at me warily, Then moves my hair out of my face and sighs. "Was it a nightmare?" I nod my head, not exactly trusting my voice at the moment.

"Let me call in work, I'll take off–"

"No." I say sharply. "Don't take off, I will be ok. Besides, I'd rather be alone to ride this out. I'll be ok tomorrow." His eyes fill with even more concern. "Luna's at Leo's house, and I really don't think you should be alone right now."