Never Really Over

Chapter 39

February 2021

Everton 1 Man City 3

Of all the things John hates about the pandemic masks are at the top of the list; he hates how claustrophobic wearing one makes him feel, how if you're inside and it's warm you can feel beads of sweat starting to run down your face and he detests how difficult it is to judge the mood of someone who has their face covered when you are talking to them. More than once he has made a joke at an inappropriate moment as he has misjudged the mood. Sometimes he doesn't even recognise people he has known for years, which has led to some awkward moments and sheepish apologies from him. Beth, however, he would recognise her head of thick chestnut hair and dark eyes that glitter anywhere, mask or no mask.

Their Christmas meeting hadn't happened, the game postponed due to a COVID outbreak at City. It meant John had a few extra weeks to contemplate how he would win her over. Despite lying awake at nights mulling things over, he was still at a loss, having already made so many promises he had failed to deliver on. This time had to be different, but he didn't know how.

For almost a year, Beth had gone about her days with a dull ache in her chest. Part of her was missing since she had cut John off. She had woken up on the morning of the match carrying a sense of dread; today she would see him, and she was anxious about how she would feel. Would she still feel the resentment she did towards him for putting Georgia and the baby before her!? Or would she look at him and want to cry tears of happiness because it had been so long since she had seen him!?

Beth got her answer as their eyes met along the corridors of Goodison Park, ones that were so narrow that social distancing was extremely difficult.

John was being so typically John; he wasn't wearing his mask properly. His nose completely uncovered. The players had to wear them on the coach and on their way to the dressing room, but once they were inside they were free to take them off. John thought it was a ridiculous rule, all for show. But he dutifully walked from the CFA to the bus and let the cameras see him complying with the rules, but as soon as he was in his seat on the bus, the mask was off, only to be put back on when it was time to face the cameras again. He'd spent the match on the bench, with his mask in various different positions, none of them the correct one.

Beth watches John's eyes light up when he sees her and she realises that it doesn't matter what he does, it is impossible for her to stay angry at him. Her own smile hidden by her mask, she waves at him, but he can tell by her eyes that she is happy to see him, and he gingerly manoeuvres his way across to her, trying his hardest not to bump into anyone, but forever conscious that is next to impossible at Goodison. John has heard rumours about Everton building a new ground, and he thinks it's sad. Part of him belongs here, but a new ground would never feel like home to him.

"Hi," he looks her up and down, appraising her with his eyes; her perfect body hidden underneath a thick down jacket. The playful smile playing on his lips, hidden from view, is full of confidence because he could tell straight away that she still wants him. There's a plea of 'excuse me' from someone behind him, and he takes a step closer to Beth, placing a hand on her waist as he backs her into a corner. "You okay?" He seems taller, the way he is standing over her, his head tilted down towards her.

"Could be better," she shrugs. "When you going to let us win one?!" Everton have not won against City for almost four years.

John shrugs, he didn't have much control over proceedings today. "Maybe next month?" City have been drawn against Everton in the FA Cup Quarter Finals, John's heart skipped a beat as he watched the draw in the auditorium at the CFA and he realised he would have an extra opportunity to see Beth this season.

"You're going to get in trouble," Beth reaches out to adjust his mask. "You're not doing a very good job of social distancing." She can't help reaching out to touch his curls that are tamer than they were in lockdown but still longer than she has ever seen them. A mix of the cold and the rain has left them dull and limp and he doesn't flinch as her fingers tease them back to life. In fact, he wants to close his eyes, right here and let her do it for hours. He is still sleeping with Gigi, but they don't ever do anything intimate like this and he has missed this kind of closeness.