Never Really Over

Chapter 30

December 2018

Manchester City 3 Everton 1

The bragging rights were John's once again, but Beth tried not to be too disheartened. Everton were sitting a respectable 8th in the table. There was still all to play for this season.

Furthermore, Christmas was fast approaching, and with her birthday a fading memory Beth was fully in the spirit of the season. Every day she arrived at work in an Everton Christmas jumper carrying a festive hot chocolate after her Spotify had played exclusively Christmas songs in the car. Even her Birkin had been spruced up, a festive coloured Twilly tied around the handle. At home, she had more advent calendars than any adult needed; a candle one, a beauty one, a sock one, and of course, a chocolate one. Every night she cosied up with Maxi underneath a fluffy Christmas throw to watch a movie. Today, at the Etihad, she was unashamedly wearing an Everton Santa hat. She loved Christmas, everyone was a little bit happier, the girl in Starbucks who usually served her with a scowl every day had even started wishing her 'Happy Holidays' every morning. Beth wasn't sure where this Americanism came from, but presumed it was all about inclusion so every day she smiled and replied, 'Same to you!'

John had not played today; he was on the bench after recovering from a minor injury. His season was going well, even captaining the side for last 20 minutes of a Champions League game. Beth was immensely proud of how he had bounced back from the disappointment of the World Cup, and she was going to tell him. As soon as she found him. She lots she wants to tell him, there always is when they have been apart for a while, and she wants him to come to Everton's Christmas party with her. She's picked out a gorgeous dress, one that she can already picture John removing at the end of the night.

They hadn't spoken since Georgia's baby was born. Beth was trying not to read too much into this; no-one would chuck a newborn out on the street, but the uncertainty over her future with John was niggling her more than ever. She hadn't been sleeping well, waking multiple times in the night torturing herself with images of John playing the supportive boyfriend to Georgia running through her mind. The fact he had been there for the birth tore her apart, that was something special, something he should only have ever shared with her.

The torture had been compounded by her lurking on Georgia's Instagram page and looking at pictures of the baby. That had sent her imagination into overdrive, and only John was going to be able to help her relax.

Beth was returning from the press area when she found John. He stood several feet away from her, still wearing the large puffy coat he had sported on the bench. His curls were so long now that he was almost sporting a quiff. He was talking to someone, his face relaxed and open, he looked happy, his eyes creased as he laughed at something. It wasn't his raucous, thigh slapping laugh she loved so much, it was more restrained, and then as she forced herself to look at something that wasn't his face, she realised why he was behaving a little more subtly. He was holding a baby. Georgia's baby, and she was standing next to him chatting away as though John was hers. And perhaps he was, because this man in front of her, confidently holding a baby, was not her John. Her John would squirm at the mere thought of being anywhere near an infant. He would not be holding one in one hand, and chatting away happily, as if he was a complete natural.

The baby looked so small against John's chest. His head resting on John's shoulder, John's large hand on his back only accentuated how tiny he was. Jealousy surged through Beth, the baby was right where her tattoo was, he had no business being there.

Blinking back tears, Beth realised that she had seen enough, but before she could turn away, John noticed her watching. His smile, if possible, grew even wider. Then he, expertly, handed the baby back to Georgia, not tentatively like Beth would have expected of him. He is careful to make sure the blanket he was carrying is wrapped around the little one, and kisses him gently on the head, just like Beth has seen him do to Maxi. He rubs Georgia's arm affectionately, says something to her that Beth can't hear, then he is heading over to her, but Beth cannot do this. Not right now. She turns away, walking quickly enough that he has to jog to keep up with her.