Never Really Over

Chapter 35

”Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

Before Beth can reply, the microwave pings and she reluctantly leaves John’s side to retrieve the snack she has made them. The mug is almost too hot to touch, and she puts it down quickly, smiling as the sweet smell of chocolate wafts towards her nostrils. “What the fuck is that?” John screws his nose up at the brown sticky mess in front of Beth.

“It’s a microwave brownie.” With Nutella, their favourite.

He screws his nose up, he isn’t going to tell her what it looks like, she’ll just remind him that he’s too old for toilet humour now.

“Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it,” she removes a tiny piece and holds it up to his lips. “Go on,” she urges as he eyes it suspiciously.

“I can’t eat the good stuff anymore,” he says dejectedly; he has already been mentally calculating how long the pizza and beer he consumed this evening will take to burn off in the gym. “You got any fruit?” His tummy is rumbling, and he can never sleep hungry.

“Just a tiny bit,” she pleads, and he shakes his head, desperately trying to resist, but all the time aware he is as under her thumb as ever. He gives in, of course, letting her sink her fingers against his lips then sucking gently on them for longer than necessary, making her clit start to flutter, as the gooey brownie melts on his tongue.

She hands him a banana, that is supposed to be for topping pancakes at breakfast time, she hopes no-one will mind and throws a mixture of berries from the fridge into a bowl, “Here.” He smiles gratefully at her, as though she has just cooked him a gourmet dinner, then swaggers over to the table and sits down to eat.

“So…” John leans back in his chair, using all his weight to lift the front two feet off the ground, like a bored schoolboy at his desk. His arms are crossed against his chest in an act of defiance, he isn’t going to fall. “Are we going to do this for real?” What happened upstairs has boosted his confidence, he doesn’t doubt that Beth wants him as much as he wants her, and his manner is now bordering on cocky.

He’s still topless and Beth’s eyes are drawn to his left wrist, where the tattoo that has adorned it for as long as she has known him has now been faded to almost nothing after several laser removal sessions. It was a tribute to Georgia, when he was still in the heady days of believing that first love lasted forever. Beth isn’t sure how she feels about the vanishing tattoo, whilst it’s nice to know the link to Georgia is gone, that’s not how she thought of it, she never associated it with Georgia, it was always just there, part of him, and instead she is more concerned about another change she knew nothing about. It’s a reminder that they have been apart for such a long time. For big things, like a quadruple season, and the little things too, like changing his hair or the fact his attitude towards his diet is much more conscientious these days.

“I don’t want you to see Georgia again.” That’s the sacrifice she wants him to make. It isn’t that she doesn’t trust him, she just wants a clean break from the past. “I know I shouldn’t feel threatened…” But she does. Who wouldn’t when John has been drawn back to this woman so many times?! To the world, Beth looks like she is strong and no nonsense, but on the inside, she has the same insecurities as any other person.

“Okay,” he nods, not missing a beat. Despite their split, he and Georgia are still on good terms, she’s his friend, but if this is what Beth wants from him, then fine. “I can get my mum or Jenny to be the middleman when I have JJ.” He puts all four feet of his chair back on the ground as he realises the severity of the conversation.

When he was younger, his aunt and uncle divorced. It was a bitter split, and for a while his house was the neutral point where his cousins were dropped off as custody change hands. One parent would drop them off and leave, then ten minutes later the other would collect them. John can get Georgia to do the same with JJ at his mum’s or Jenny’s.