Never Really Over

Chapter 20

August 2017

For the first time in five years John has a summer uninterrupted by tournament football, the prospect of this excited him but the reality is that the off-season feels never-ending, especially without Beth, so it is a relief to return to training. The wait to be reunited with Beth is no where near as long as John fears it may be, Everton travel to the Etihad for only the second game of the season.

John lingers in the tunnel before the warm-up hoping to catch a glimpse of Beth, desperate to have as much time as he can with her but she's nowhere to be seen. It's another tough game against Everton. Kyle Walker is sent off in the first half, and John is substituted early in the second. He's embarrassed, and his confidence that has grown increasingly fragile during his time at City takes another blow. When he leaves the pitch, he doesn't take a seat on the bench, instead he storms down the tunnel and heads straight to the dressing room feeling angry at the world. He's started reading his own press, he knows he shouldn't, Beth would be fuming with him, but he naively thought the words of a journalist might help him improve, where his managers, coaches and colleagues had failed, maybe they could offer some kind of unbiased insight. Of course, it hadn't worked, all reading had done was rub salt in his wounds. He had potential they said, he had improved, but he had to cut out the mistakes. Well how was he supposed to do that when he didn't get to play?!

So caught up in his own frustrations he neglected to remember that Kyle would also be in the dressing room, and John is startled when he opens the door to find Kyle sitting in his seat with a face like thunder having seen red on his home debut. On any other day John would sympathise, this is the kind of thing that happens to him. But not today, today he doesn't have it in him to try and cheer someone else up. He nods to acknowledge Kyle's presence before pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it into the wash bucket.

"You been sent off too pal?" Kyle eventually breaks the silence.

John shakes his head, no, he's just crap. Not good enough for City. Things are turning out just how Beth told him they would, he can't nail down a starting spot, meaning his England chances are slipping away. The pressure at a top club is immense and he's not sure he's cut out for it. Gigi doesn't understand, she tries to listen, but he can always see it in her eyes, she still thinks it's just a game, she doesn't understand why he gets so frustrated, or that it's impossible for him to leave work at work. If he stayed at Everton with Beth, things wouldn't be like this. She was right, the move was too big for him.

Beth. He has to shower, then go find her. He wonders how her summer was, was it as dull as his?! Did she go on holiday?! Chris, Luke and the other John had gone on holiday together, John had been invited but when he heard Ross would be there, he politely declined. Instead, he'd had a raucous holiday with some of the England lads that he could only remember parts of.

"Fuck sake's, there's going to be more in here than there is on the pitch soon," Kyle pipes up again as he hears the door close for a second time. Then there's the clicking of heels and John smiles because he knows.

"You lost love?" Kyle looks appraisingly at Beth; she's wearing a navy shift dress with a pencil skirt, much classier than the suit she has been forced to wear for so many seasons, John notes how grown-up she looks.

"No," Beth smiles and scratches her head, her eyes locked on John's. "I forgot you'd be here."

John and Beth's chemistry is instantly palpable, Kyle glances back and forth between them, "You're here for him?" Kyle is new to City; already close with John through England duty, they've been as thick as thieves since he signed, but Kyle had no idea John was shagging one of the staff.

"I'm Beth," she breaks eye contact with John and holds out a hand for Kyle to shake. Quickly he realises she's not one of the City staff. It makes sense, he is sure he would have noticed her before now if she was.