Requiem - Michaeng [ENG]

Maybe It's Love

- I like Chaeyoung. You can party now. - She opened her mouth giving way to a victorious smile full of conviction.

- Do you like her? Like, really like her?

- I think I love her... - I didn't even risk looking at Sana, her totally exaggerated expression was still there.

- Who are you? - she said nudging my shoulder making me smile. - Since when do you admit things so easily, especially in that aspect? Does she already know about this?

- No! And she won't.

- Why?

- Because probably after today she won't want to look at my face anymore. Well, "look" in my face. - I made quotation marks with my fingers making her laugh.

- Stop being a coward, talk to her.

- Coward? - I closed my eyes - It's useless Sana, I'm no good for her. Look at me, we don't really match, I have a thousand problems, I have a curriculum that would scare anyone and my life is a mess. I don't want to put her in the crossfire.

- You're right about that and you're too cute to worry about at this point. But maybe she's the happiness you're missing, maybe she's the missing piece for your life's gear to work... - We looked at each other and burst out laughing. Her sentences sometimes sounded like those from motivational books or drama movies. - Seriously Minari, you can't forbid yourself like that. You need to take chances, I say it and I repeat: Chaeyoung is not a child and not made of sugar, she will survive a relationship. You deserve to be happy and have someone who cares about you.

- But I already have you! - I squandered a sincere smile that was reciprocated with a kiss on the cheek.

- I can't put up with you all the time, it's not healthy and besides, I'm dying to see where this goes.

- Calm down. I haven't agreed to any of that yet, I still think she'd be better off away from me.

- You know, I already gave my opinion. - She looked at the watch on her wrist, getting up right away - Let's go, we're already a good few minutes late and I can't take so many absences.

I used her hand to pull me up over my legs. It was always good to talk to Sana, the fact that we'd been friends for so long saved me from idle chatter and always got us straight to the point. Besides the fact that she was one of the few people I listened to who knew how to reach me directly. We knew each other so well that it was boring.

- I missed you. - I hugged her from behind awkwardly as we walked back inside the campus.

- I know I know. - She kissed my hand and I immediately tried to let go of her, passing in front of her with an ugly face and sticking my tongue out at her.

My mood had partially recovered. I walked to my class with a smile on my face, causing confusion for the onlookers, who probably imagined a different Mina after the break. After a few hours in the room I noticed that I hadn't eaten anything due to unforeseen circumstances and my stomach was complaining all the time, luckily I had experimental classes full of voice exercises. I loved those things. My class had really talented girls who reminded me of my dream of applying to Juilliard.

I spent the rest of the day thinking about what to actually do. Sana's words echoed in my mind and competed with my own. She was right at one point, I should try to be happy, I deserved it after so many things and so long and Chaeyoung was the only answer my heart gave me to that question. I was loving her. My God. How did it start? Where did that come from? She caught me completely off guard. But beyond all that there was the matter of the burden I carried with myself, my family and my life in general. How selfish would it be to involve her in all this just so I could wake up with a smile on my face every morning? She didn't deserve it, I didn't deserve it. I did not know what to do.