IKIGAI / Jake Sully

36

Now hush, little baby, don't you cry
Everything's gonna be alright

....

And if you ask me to,
I'ma gonna buy you a mockingbird
I'ma give you the world
I'ma buy a diamond ring for you, I'ma sing for you
I'll do anything for you to see you smile
And if that mockingbird don't sing, and that ring don't shine
I'ma break that birdie's neck
I'll go back to the jeweler who sold it to ya
And make him eat every carat, don't fuck with....

"I will protect you. I will give you the life I never had. You don't have to worry about the monsters." Jake says towering behind me as we look out at the sky.

Behind this perfect illusion he built for me, one where he hides all the bad parts behind a wall. Keeping me focused on glimmering lights and the beautiful magic, making sure I will never need to turn around to ask.

Ask how did he make any of this happen?

What did he have to sacrifice for this piece of happiness?

What lengths he had to take?

Jake made sure that in his presence, I would never cry. That he would fix anything, even if that meant turning around and breaking the very thing that hurt me.

So be it.

Without regrets.

If his hands needed to be dipped in blood to keep the smile on my face he would gladly destroy hundreds, if not thousands. His love had no bounds. His devotion was unwavering.

"You know you don't have to do anything" I unknowingly say to him, oblivious to the sacrifice he had already made. My eyes look up at him. Laying the back of my head on his bare chest.

"I do it because I love you." Jake responds. "Everything I do. Just know it was for you."

Whatever it takes. To protect me. To keep me safe behind this beautiful illusion he created for me. My own perfect world. As long as I don't look behind him.

As long as I just focus on Jake everything would be ok.

Don't look behind him. Please don't ask.

He leans down to kiss me.

Don't pay attention to what he hid away because it was for my own good. For my own safety. His excuse to keep me in the dark. Because sometimes to make sure things stay perfect he would have to destroy other things.

And if he had to choose me over sparing anything else? He would always choose me.

————————

Sometimes I have flickers of my old memories. But they begin to blur with my new ones. And at this point they all feel like one singular life instead of split into two.

Jake sits down behind me. Both of his powerful legs bent on each side of me. He wraps the braided blanket around the both of us, as I snuggled closer to his chest.

While he plops his head down ontop of mine. Jake throws his arms over my shoulders leaning down kiss the back of neck.

The only light around us was the glowing hot springs and the small fire that was blazing in front of us.

Lighting a few extra candles to give us a bit more viewing from Viperwolves. The wax in the candles, from the waterfall, being a natural repellent for them.