Ruined By You | 18+ | ✓

29: bailey | past

I have to remind myself where I am every day when I wake up. Nightmares of flames and uncertainty manipulate my dreams that bleed into my subconscious.

Carter has done his best to make me feel welcome in his apartment he shares with his college roommate, Jason. I lucked out that they had a spare bedroom they have been using as a home gym. I didn't even know he had a roommate, which makes me then wonder what else I don't know about him.

They both work during the day so I'm left by myself in the apartment with whatever I decide to do that day. Yesterday I was so bored I cleaned the entire apartment. That should say something because I don't know a single person in their right mind who would willingly clean.

A part of me misses school, but I just have to get used to this new normal. I didn't really have a plan when I ran away, but it felt like I had no other option.

I have yet to decide what I want to do today, but I want to prove that I can pull my weight since Carter and Jason are letting me stay here. Hence, the cleaning I did yesterday.

The sound of a key entering the lock in the door has me somewhat on edge because I think Carter would have let me know if one of them was going to come back here early. How? I have no idea because I currently don't have a phone since all of my electronics were left back in my old life. But when I see his mother standing there, I understand why he didn't let me know. Kiera didn't tell him she was coming here.

My mistrust must be showing on my face as Kiera makes eye contact with me. She immediately puts her hands up, her face flushing in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to show up unannounced. I just wanted to speak with you without...well without my family listening."

"Okay," I answer simply, unable to shake the feeling that something is off. I don't want to feel this way, but it's suspicious that she didn't tell Carter. Or maybe she did and he forgot to tell me.

I'm projecting right? Just because I can't trust my family doesn't mean that I can't ever trust anyone. I wish I didn't feel like I had to scrutinize every person I meet in my life, but when your own family has lied and lied and fucking lied for years, it feels like I have to.

I mean she welcomed me into her house when she could have turned me away. I wouldn't have blamed her if she had because I'm a walking reminder of the man who left her when she was pregnant for another woman.

"Is it okay if I sit?"

It takes me a second to realize that she's asking me for my permission and I nod quickly once I snap back into it. "So...what is it that you want to talk about?"

Kiera smiles timidly at me. "You know for as much as you look like your mom, there is so much of Sebastian in you."

"Really?" The question escapes my mouth before I can even stop it. All I've heard my entire life is that I am a spitting image of my mom. It's true. I have her golden blond hair, the spring green eyes, and the same fiery temper. As much as I don't want to be associated with my dad right now, I've never heard that I look like him. I feel caught off guard because it causes a warm fuzzy feeling to sprout in my chest. One that I don't want to feel. That was never what I expected to hear, especially from Kiera.

"Has no one ever told you that?" She asks, tilting her head to look at me from a different angle. All I can do is shake my head. "You have his nose, same facial structure and smile. I noticed at dinner when you're listening to everyone else speak, you tap your fingers repeatedly just like he used to when he was nervous. I'm surprised no one has ever told you this; I can tell just by looking at you that you're his."

"How can you stand to look at me? What my parents did to you was wrong. You should hate me."

"It's been a really long time Bailey since everything happened with your parents. They made mistakes, but so did I-"