Ruined By You | 18+ | ✓

26: kaitlyn | now

I've been staring at the ceiling for I don't know how long. When I opened my eyes, I had hoped that maybe I had just dreamed everything that happened. It's kind of hard to do that when I'm lying in Bailey's bed with Javi wrapped up in nearly all the blankets.

There's old plastic stars still stuck to B's ceiling. I'm sure he's just forgotten they're there. I remember when we were kids and he wanted to be an astronaut. I guess Bailey traded the stars on the ceiling for the ones in the sky since he used to be found sitting on his roof at night. I guess I don't really know if he does that anymore or not.

And then my mind drifts to Hunter. Tears immediately prickle in my eyes for a number of reasons. I'm sad that our relationship is over. I'm sad that he ruined his relationship with Bailey because of me. I'm sad that it contributed to Bailey leaving. I'm sad because of all the what ifs that are running through my brain.

Getting out of bed means facing the world. I don't really know if I'm ready for that.

I pretend to be asleep when Bailey comes back into the bedroom to grab clothes from his closet, and again when Javi wakes up.

The third time he comes in, he speaks. "Kaitlyn? I know you're awake." Bailey says softly and my heart sputters in my chest. "You don't have to get up or anything, I just wanted to know if you wanted anything to eat or drink?"

All of this would be so much easier if Bailey wasn't being so nice or sweet. He should hate me for coming here last night after Hunter and I broke up. Instead, he gave me his bed and slept on the ground.

I pause for a minute to think about what I want to do and if I should just slip out after Bailey's left me alone or stay.

"Will you come lay with me?" I ask, my voice scratchy.

Bailey lays on the bed where Javi was earlier, rolling on his side to face me. There's a safe amount of distance between us; distance that's probably better off there.

The light filtering in through the blinds casts streaks on his face, one in particular casting a spotlight on the scar on his forehead. I wonder what he sees when he looks at me. Swollen face, red eyes, the uncertainty I feel about everything.

"I'm sorry about you and Hunter."

My eyes widen immediately, that being the last thing I ever would have expected him to say. "Why?" I blurt out quickly before I can stop myself.

"Because you loved him and he loved you." He explains as if it's as simple as that.

"That doesn't make what Hunter did to you okay."

Bailey doesn't flinch at my words. "I didn't say that it was okay. I understand why he did it."

"So everything you said that night on the roof...it wasn't true?"

Finally, finally, he gives a reaction to my question. His eyes close and I hear the slow intake of his breath. "No. It wasn't true. I never should have said any of it."

"Will you tell me what happened?" I ask and Bailey's eyes open once more, flecks of gold making their rare appearance within the mossy green.

"Kait, it's in the past." He says, repeating his words from last night and a flash of anger sparks inside me. I'm so sick of him and Hunter making choices for me; choices I didn't even know I had zero control over until last night.

"It might be in the past for you, but it's not for me. As someone who just learned about all of this last night, I'd really appreciate it if you would tell me the truth that was made for me." I say, perhaps a little harsher than I should because my anger isn't directed towards him.