Ruined By You | 18+ | ✓

03: bailey | now

My parents are sitting on the back deck talking quietly to each other. The squeak of the door when I step through it captures both of their attention and that's when I notice that Mom is crying. She wipes her cheeks hastily and offers me a smile.

"Hi Bailey. Do you want to come sit with us?" She offers, motioning to any of the available seats at the table where we ate so many family dinners. If I run my fingers over the place I used to sit, I'm sure I'd find marks from when I once jammed a fork into the wood. Hunter dared me that I couldn't get it to stand up on it's own.

I opt to sit across from them in the seat that normally is Mirabelle's. Who knows who sits here now. It appears that the family dynamic kept changing after I left. My stomach is twisting into knots right now under the scrutinization.

"So," I start and then clear my throat. "I guess I should thank you guys for not changing the code to the gate." I take the time to really look at my parents, noting the changes I didn't see earlier.

They're growing older.

Dad's hair is starting to show more gray than black and he looks tired. Mom's blonde hair is longer again, her eyes still the vibrant green that match my own, but her frame looks frailer.

"We didn't change it because we wanted you to have a way to get in if you ever decided to come back." Dad admits dejectedly and I swallow the lump in my throat.

"Thank you," I maintain our eye contact, but it's a struggle. I feel guilty because I've regretted how I treated him those last six months I lived here. I thought he deserved it, but I was wrong.

The shame is what's kept me away.

"I...maybe I shouldn't ask this, but I can't keep not knowing. Why did you leave?" Mom asks and I'm truly not surprised at all. It's who she is.

I've tried to put it into words a million times when I imagined this moment. I had it planned out. But now that I'm actually here, admitting what happened doesn't seem productive. All it will do is hurt them and I've done enough of that.

"I was angry. I was blinded by it when I should have just talked to you. Leaving felt like the best option for everyone. I'm-" This is when my voice falters and I feel like a kid for the first time in a long time. "I'm sorry that I hurt everyone." I somehow manage to finish strong and Mom shakes her head.

"You leaving was not the best option for anyone. We tried so hard to find you, but it was like you'd disappeared from the face of the Earth. And then you started to call JJ to let him know that you were okay and it became all we could focus on. Bailey, we're not perfect. We've made mistakes, but I'm so sorry that you felt like you couldn't talk to us." She says and Dad reaches for her hand to hold it tightly in silent support.

This is too much. Rehashing everything and reconciliation isn't what I came here for. I shove my emotions into the furthest part of my brain. "Thank you for letting Javi and I stay here. I really appreciate it." I try to say clearly, but my head is spinning. I don't know what to think right now. Not being able to think is where things go wrong.

"Bailey-" Mom starts to say, but Dad cuts her off.

"Of course. It's still your home. It always will be."

I nod jerkily before standing up to leave. "Excuse me." It comes out as a mumble and I head back in the house when my wrist is grabbed. I whirl around quickly, my brain automatically triggering the fight option in fight or flight and Mom's eyes are wide in surprise.

And then before I can stop myself, I hug her, breathing in the scent of her familiar perfume. Her arms fold around me tightly and I don't let go. I never thought I'd be able to do this again. "Je t'aime tellement." She says, her voice strong and unwavering. I love you so much.