Ravenous [Jungkook x Reader]

♥ Loathing ♥

♥ Loathing ♥

The person who came to collect me off of the floor was Hoseok. Probably because it was his floor in his room I was sitting on, a bloody and tear-stained mess. Still, I asked him, as he helped me up off the ground. I couldn't stop myself. "Are you one of them?"

"Do you hate them for what they are?" He'd replied in lieu of an answer.

I shook my head. "No. I haven't even fully begun to process that. I just hate the one who lied to me."

"Technically, we all lied to you." He frowned. "I'm not a vampire, for the record. Though, I've known what they are for a long time. You could consider me a willing participant. That contract you signed when you were hired- I've renewed it over and over again."

"Why would you do that?"

"They are my family." His usual warm smile returned to his face. "It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I know it might not make sense now but if they didn't do what they did then they would have to hunt...other ways."

"You mean kill people..." I shuddered at the thought.

Hoseok rested a hand on my shoulder. "Yes, likely so. Even if they could avoid killing those whose blood they drank, things would be much more difficult for them. The chances of getting caught would be a lot higher..."

I was trying to understand. Desperately. But my mind was in overdrive with everything that had happened tonight, and I just couldn't find the empathy to do it. I tried to imagine myself as one of them, unable to live without blood. What would I do? It's human, or well, any creature's nature to do what it takes to survive. Would I be able to look someone in the eyes every day and pretend I wasn't drinking their blood every night? Would I be able to pretend I cared about them? To make them think everything was okay?

Hoseok spoke up again, breaking the silence. "He wanted to tell you, you know?"

I bit my lip. "He could have...he didn't have to pretend to be kind to me. He didn't have to..." I had to stop or I'd end up a crying mess again.

"Jungkook...he- he told the last one and it didn't end well. I have already said too much, but please give him the chance to explain."

"He already more or less told me I meant nothing more than the contract. I'm just the newest employee blood bag I guess," I scoffed. "There is nothing more to explain. I'll fulfill my end of the bargain, and we won't have to pretend we care about each other anymore. When my six months are up, I'll disappear and try to forget that any of this happened."

I stood up from the floor and straightened out my dress as well as I could, given the ripped fabric. "Hoseok, I appreciate you explaining things to me, but Jungkook made it clear what our relationship was to be on my first day there. I was the one who got things fucked up in my head. Why he decided to play nice with me this last week- I don't know. I keep summing it up to guilt. Either way, that's done now. I don't want to hear any more."

"Y/N...if you need anything, ever, please call me." He looked at me with pity. I hated it. "I know you need time, but I'm here for you if you need a friend."

I didn't answer. I left and headed straight for my own hotel room, wanting nothing more than to drown myself under the hot water in the shower. To wash away the makeup, the blood, and the regret. And to think, with nothing more than the sound of my own thoughts rattling against the inside of my head.

I no longer had wounds to worry about, my cut and the holes in my neck had both faded without so much as the faintest scar. It was as if all of this had never happened. As if I'd dreamt it. As if I could wake up tomorrow and laugh about how ridiculous of a dream it had been. How nice that would have been, if that were true. It wouldn't hurt so damn much.

I wasn't sure who I hated more- myself or Jungkook. I kept replaying our conversation in my head. He'd been so sweet at the start, embracing me, comforting me. Then, when it was clear there was no chance of lying his way out of the hole he'd dug himself, he reverted back to the Jungkook I'd met on day one. Angry. Hostile. Uncaring. A firm line drawn between the two of us- except this time it wasn't just boss and employee, it was predator and prey.

I hate him. I hate him. I hate him to the point that my heart is clenching so tightly in my chest that I can hardly breathe. I hate the way he touched me, so tenderly, so lovingly. I hate the way he laughed, the way his eyes crinkled up. I hate the way he promised to protect me, the fierceness in his voice when he said it. I hate the way he smiled at me while we danced, like it was only the two of us in that ballroom full of people. I hate that I want more than anything, for him to do those things again.

Out of the shower, with my hair still damp, and my eyes swollen, I threw myself into bed. I didn't sleep. I stared up at the ceiling, repeating the words in my head. I hate you. I hate you. I repeated them until my head was throbbing, and I couldn't fight my consciousness from fading any longer. I hoped if I kept repeating the words, I would start to believe them.