Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
N O T M Y F A U L T P T. T H R E E "please, just... let me love you."
—
he wondered why it was so hard for him to say it, to just let the truth roll off his tongue. the perpetual feeling that kept drew up at night scared him beyond belief, not because he didn't want to experience it or nurture it, but because he was just simply afraid of what your reaction would be. would you reject him? tell him you didn't feel the same? his world as he knew would come crashing down.
in truth, his feelings for you was already out there. you already knew where he stood. he still had feelings for you, and you still had feelings for him, that was established out on the dock that one night. he had just never said what he truly wanted to say.
he knew what he felt was stronger than the two of you combined. it could start wildfires and calm the most raging storms. but he thought it was just crazy, how his heart could've fallen in love with something as simple as your smile, your voice, your mind even. it hurt him to think about the fact that you weren't even his. he didn't technically have the right to say all these things. he belonged to someone else.
but something that was even crazier, was that you went back to all the avoiding, the mild fighting and ignoring that went on before that night on the dock. it was like that never happened, like you two never almost kissed.
and that was so utterly confusing to drew.
he could tell you regretted it, but quite frankly, he just couldn't figure out why you regretted it. you had admitted you still liked him, so he was confused why you acted like it never occurred.
he tried multiple times to talk to you about what was said on the dock, but every time he did, you'd come up with a lame excuse to avoid him. he was hurt. it affected him more than he liked to admit.
the reason why you were so salty with drew, was because you were scared. you didn't want things to end badly again, and you didn't want to think about losing drew again. plus, you guys were not good with each other when you were together. it was toxic, as much as you hated to admit it.
of course you loved drew. how could you not? he's the type that you never get over, but you two just didn't work. it was the wrong timing, and you don't want to go through the heartbreak again.
so, when you heard a knock at your door of your apartment and saw drew on the other side, teary eyed and messy hair, you were surprised.
your eyes narrowed as you studied him. he looked relieved to see you, and his figure relaxed when his eyes met yours.
"we broke up." he said, referring to his girlfriend (ex-girlfriend now). "well, she broke up with me."
"oh. drew, i'm... i'm so sorry." you said, growing concerned. but, on the contrary, you were confused. why were you the first person he went to after his girlfriend broke up with him?
drew hesitated before answering. he blinked tears away rapidly, and his lip quivered. "it's fine." his voice was thick with sadness. "i don't know why i'm here."
"that's okay. you don't have to know. i'm here for you." you said, softly. tension grew between you two and it was palpable.
he wanted so badly to say it. just finally be done and through with it so he could stop suffering in silence. he wanted you to know and truly believe that he loved you because so many people say it without sincerity behind their words.
"are you okay?" you asked, tentative with your words.
no. of course i'm not okay. i miss you and only you. i want you and only you. but you won't even look at me. it hurts so bad, my heart hurts so bad. i love you, y/n. i love you, i love you, i love you and only you. no one else. it's you. you're it for me.
drew nodded, but he couldn't contain it much longer. tears that were threatening to escape fell down his cheeks, and soon he was a sobbing mess.
you took no time in comforting him, immediately pulling him into a hug and letting yourself be the one for him to lean on. and that's exactly what he did, he leaned on you for comfort.
and then he knew. he knew by the way you felt under his touch and by the way you hugged him. you loved him too. and he knew.
when you pulled away, he had stopped crying and he was giving you a look you knew all too well. you felt tears well in your eyes. you shook your head.
"no. no, no." you whispered.
"i love you." he said. and your breath hitched as the salty tears flowed down your cheeks. you shook your head further.
"i do, i love you. i'm in love with you, y/n." his voice was thick and now he was crying again.
you didn't know why you were crying. wasn't this what you wanted? you were in love with drew, and how he was saying those words to you and it was too much and you couldn't handle it. all you wanted to was say it back, but you couldn't for some reason.
"it's been you this whole time, y/n, and i love you. i want to be with you and you won't even look at me or talk to me and i hate it. i miss you and i love you. and that night on the dock? are we just going to pretend that never happened? cause i don't regret it, but i can tell you do. and i don't know why because i know you love me too and it's killing me, okay? so-so please. please, just... just let me love you. please—let me." he was rambling and word vomiting and now he couldn't control his emotions and he was crying even more now and so were you, you could feel the tears falling down you neck now.
"i'm sorry. i'm sorry, i'm so sorry, i'm sorry, drew." you couldn't stop repeating the words, and you don't know why you were sorry.
"no, no, no, don't be sorry. you don't have to be sorry, please." he was practically begging at this point, and you were surprised he wasn't on his knees.
"i'm so sorry, i just can't." you sobbed out, and he bit his lips into a thin line, and he sniffled, trying to contain himself.
he shrugged, as if he wasn't the most vulnerable he'd ever been (in his entire life) right before you, to you. "i love you, y/n." he breathed out, while you couldn't stop repeating your apologies.
you loved him. you loved him so much it hurt. no matter how much you wanted to say it, it just wouldn't happen. you couldn't put yourself through that. plus, he was hurting, you didn't want him to make any irrational decisions (even though, deep down you knew this wasn't an irrational decision).
"it's not your fault." he simply said, before walking out the door and leaving you a sobbing mess.
it's not your fault.
AUTHORS NOTE hey squad it's been a while i had so much fun writing this one, and i love this mini series. part four??👀👀
