Requiem - Michaeng [ENG]

Hate you, Chaeyoung

- Don't you remember what happened when you arrived at the apartment yesterday?

- No I can't. It feels like I'm looking for a memory I never had. - I rubbed my hands over my face trying to contain my despair. - But if I slept at the door it means she didn't want to see me.

- You don't know if that was it, maybe you didn't even say anything. Don't think you was that sober yesterday.

- Now I know how drunk I was, my head feels like it's going to explode and this fucking lack of memory... - I turned to the side burying my face in the pillow making her laugh.

- I've already prepared all your detox cocktail, it's there in the kitchen and before you ask I won't bring it here, you have to move, even if it's just to get a glass. - I groaned against the pillow squeezing it even more in my face just imagining what awaited me when I got up. - And if you change your mind, go to college, it will be good to distract you.

Momo placed a kiss on my head and left carrying her keys, the door slamming right after.

Shit shit shit. Everything I struggled to put in place seemed to have lost its meaning after yesterday, it was as if all my effort was put down by the smallest detail, a sneaking weakness that destroyed everything.

I lay like a statue for a while, staring at the white ceiling above me. I didn't have the strength or the will left to move from there or to try anything. I laughed to myself for a moment realizing that the hole I had fallen into was the one I dug myself.

After a few hours of suffering, a sudden courage came to me and I used it to get to my feet. I squeezed my eyes shut and felt my head feel twenty times heavier with the change in position, my fingers running over my temples in an attempt to lighten things up a bit as I made my way to the kitchen. The huge glass that I saw so much after my nights out was there again, waiting for me on the counter, accompanied by some medicine. Momo was the best friend anyone could have, she knew me from head to toe and took such good care of me during those hours, in fact if it wasn't for her I don't know what I would have done last night.

I smiled thinking about the beautiful friend I have and threw the pill in my mouth turning the green liquid in the glass down my throat, the bad taste spreading quickly through my mouth making me hurry to end it all with a huge grimace. I squeezed my eyes, trying to digest it without spilling it out, and slammed the glass against the counter again. Everything has its price, I thought, that's what I had to pay after drinking so much.

I took advantage of the fact that I was already up and went to do my hygiene because apparently I hadn't showered when I arrived, let alone brushed my teeth. I threw myself under the shower water for long minutes that, if it were up to me, would have been endless. I allowed myself to relax there for a few moments and collect my thoughts.

Was it really over between us? Chaeyoung certainly doesn't want me after all, she didn't open the door. But she could have been sleeping by the time I arrived. Urgh, who was I trying to fool by saying these things? It was clear that yesterday did not end well. I still didn't know, I still had that doubt that tormented me so much yesterday and no, I wasn't going to keep it inside me one more minute.

I finished the shower in a jump, got ready and took the keys from there. I didn't care about being dumped anymore, I didn't care if I heard her curse at me, I just wanted to end this agony inside me.

I drove through New York cutting corners and killing everyone from the heart, at one point I thought I would crash the car and stay right there on the avenue, but somehow I managed to arrive at Juilliard untouched.

I ran into the building making my way to the boardroom where I would get the information I needed.

- Good morning! - I greeted the assistant, spreading my hands on the table and catching my breath. - I need information about a student, her name is Chaeyoung, she is a music student. I need to know what class she's in right now.