Requiem - Michaeng [ENG]

Love Countdown PT.2

- It wasn't just sex, I know you were crazy about me and still are. You can't have forgotten me that easily.

- Why not? You did it, didn't you? I didn't see much difficulty.

- You broke up with me, I never forgot you. - he couldn't be serious putting himself as a victim like that. He's the cheater and I'm the wrong one for breaking up?

- Look Hongjoong, leave me alone, okay? I don't want anything more to do with you. - I said getting up, my patience was already at dangerously low levels.

- Don't give me the back. - He grabbed me by the arm pulling me back towards him and making me crash against his body. - You know how I hate that.

- Are you sure? Because if I remember correctly, you loved to fuck those girls with their backs to you. - I raised my knee between his legs hitting him squarely and pulling away right away to watch as he contracted in pain until he fell lying on the floor. All those people looking on in awe and loving the show. - Fuck off and don't you dare touch me again.

I staggered out of there and heard some shouts of encouragement. That was definitely not my night, I was paying for all my sins in just a few short hours. In the blink of an eye I went from good to bad, what felt right became crooked and what once loved me hate me.

The drink was already starting to take effect, I could feel it. The music seemed incredibly louder, the lights flickered wildly and made me dizzy. That huddle of people moving like a blurred black mass blending into the darkness of the night. I was on the verge of fainting, I needed a quiet place, and I thanked God when I found a bench in the most secluded part of the garden.

I threw my body hard against the wood and sat up completely crooked, with my head up and my eyes narrowed in a desperate search for fresh air. I stayed that way for a moment until I felt like I had control of my mind regained. My head stopped spinning and I could see straight, but that pain inside me still hadn't gone away. I shifted into a better position, resting my elbows on my knees and lowering my face into my hands. My fingers wandered through the strands of hair as I somehow tried to think what would become of me from now on.

- There you are, do you want to scare me to death? I thought you had abandoned me here. - I looked up to see Momo approaching with a smile that soon faded from her face. - What happened?

- No big deal - I took a deep breath, raising my body to lean against the bench.

- Doesn't seem like no big deal. What happened? You get like that when you have a serious fight with your father. - She sat next to me, facing me.

- It wasn't a fight and it wasn't with my father. - I sighed defeated remembering everything. - It was a misunderstanding with Chaeyoung.

- With Chae?

- Yes. Dahyun and I were looking for her, but we couldn't find her, so we stopped to go to the bathroom because Dahyun spilled a drink on me and I needed to clean myself up, which I didn't even do. - I looked down at my belly seeing two spots on my crop and a blur on my skin. - So we stopped in front of the bathroom and started talking about the fact that I was liking her and...

- Wait! - she shouted interrupting me, something I already expected her to do.

- Yes, I'm liking her. -I admitted anticipating her steps. She widened her eyes and flashed the biggest smile.

- No, that I already knew. But you admitting the fact so openly is what surprises me. - I rolled my eyes at the comment making her laugh - She put you to eat out of her hand, didn't she?! You're so in love.

- It doesn't matter anymore, because I fucked up. - I cut coldly.

- How can saying you like someone be bad? Did she reject you?

- Momo, focus! - I said turning around so we were sitting face to face. - Chaeyoung was missing and it was just me and Dahyun. - She shook her head in agreement and gave space for me to continue. - So, we were talking about the fact that I like her, but I didn't say any good things. I said how outraged I was about it all and the things that irritated me about her... Then the bathroom door opens and who's there? Chaeyoung. - I lowered my head with a sigh feeling the weight of regret hit again.

- I don't know what kind of reverse psychology you believe in, but nobody would like to hear that stuff. - I turned to her again trying to defend myself, but she made a sign for me to listen to her. - If you didn't make things worse, you wouldn't be you.

- Will you stop this talk about me being me? I'm already tired of it. I am not who I was and who I seemed to be becoming. Don't expect anything from me.

- And to complete the symptoms you are defensive, you really are crazy about her! - She said as if she only realized it now.

- Momo! It doesn't matter! She left with Dahyun and I let her, it's over.

- Another thing we need to work on: this habit of yours of taking things for granted just because someone made it seem that way. There is something called conversation and we use it to clarify things and overcome problems. You can't just give up like that, you have to go after it.

- I don't run after. She wanted to go, I'm not the one to change her mind.

- Who's talking about old me, new me now? - snorted. - Throw that rest of pride shit aside because it's worth it. She didn't say she didn't want to see you anymore, she didn't say she hate you, she just left because, at the time, she was hurt. So your duty, as a lovestruck fool who's fucked up, is to go after her and sort it all out.

- I'm really lucky. - I mocked laughing at myself. - First I hit her and ask if she's blind, now I speak ill of her and she comes up next to me listening to everything. This must be some kind of sign, we were doomed to be over before we even started.

- That's a sign that it's going to be different, it's going to be magical. - I squinted my eyes. - Easy come, easy go, right? Chaeyoung certainly doesn't fit into that situation. The hardest things in this life are the best.

- I don't know.

- Mina, what's your problem? Want more sign than that?

- I'm scared, okay?! - I raised my voice in despair. I knew Momo was right, but the fear inside me was just as terrifying as my desire for Chaeyoung. - I'm afraid that today she finally realized the person I am and regretted getting so close.

I lowered my head again. I really didn't know what to do, I had never felt this way before, it was all so scary and so intense inside me. Voices everywhere telling me what was right, what was wrong. I no longer knew what was heart and what was reason, it hurt me so much, but it hurt even more to think that I had lost Chaeyoung forever.
Momo placed one of her hands on my shoulder squeezing warmly.

- Friend, it's up to her to tell you and for you to risk asking. That happens when we like someone, you have to risk and face up because it's going to hurt anyway. But whatever it is, I'll be with you.

She was right and even tho more high than I was, she seemed to be working better. I had to go out there and try it, I need to know the damage I'd done, because doubt would soon corrupt me from the inside out. Since when was I this coward? I let out a heavy sigh as I lifted my head and stood in front of her, I was sure of my decision and, for the first time, I didn't allow myself to go back.

- You drive.