Wikigirl 2 //PJM

Chapter 34

You gulped down your saliva with difficulty as he took a step closer and was practically at a breath's distance, looking as cold as one could be while you tried your best to remind yourself to not break eye contact and show any signs of intimidation.

"For him you say...You are here to help Jimin. Do you know how funny that sounds to me?" He murmured in a low tone as he brought slowly his right hand up to reach a strand of hair that was hanging by the side of your ear.

"How can you help someone you don't even know the pain of? How can you save one that had to break in order to survive?" He entangled his finger on it as he went on, making your hands brush against the fabric of your clothes subtly in an attempt to wipe off the sweat that had started forming on your palms while you had fixed your posture and were trying your best to not allow your attention to get distracted by his action? " Don't speak of such lies ever again before me doll. For none is here fighting to save him, not even his own self."

A split second was all it took for you to notice a glimpse of a mourning sea of sadness reflecting on his orbs as he uttered those words which you could not deny nor approve of for as he had said, you were ignorant. You had no idea what was the thing that had truly broken Jimin's sanity, to begin with, nor you could truly relate to how it was to live in his shoes. His nightmares were his to live and you could only understand till were your rationality could allow you to. You could never feel him fully, know him fully or embrace him fully for there were so many pieces of him that even Jimin himself didn't know of.

He was like a portrait made out of puzzle pieces that had yet to be put together fully to reveal the truth. Who he was and who he was not, all he is and all he could become. Jimin was someone that you had acknowledged that no matter how much you stay around to get to know him, you could never expect to really achieve that aim but he was also someone that you had grown fond of, for as little as you had known of him. 

Those small puzzle pieces you had put together of him, had been enough for you to make you care for him as a human being, as a friend and as a soul. And even if you could never find yourself in his shoes, you could still comfort him and earn to help him. Wish for him to achieve happiness as much as a broken soul would wish for another.

"What about you then? Are you like P1 too? Do you want to kill him off and take his place? Don't you want to help him?" You responded as your face betrayed your emotions of vulnerability for only thinking that Jimin really had no one that really wanted his salvation, which made you feel sad. For it was unfair to have so many enemies constantly within him. Trying to eat him alive while he feeds them life and a portal to existence.

"I have already saved him. Don't you see? I carry all he could never withstand. My existence is the reason he is breathing today." P3's reply perplexed you but he didn't give your mind any chance to process his words nor bring up any further questions as he dropped his hand from your strand of hair to your neck and abruptly pulled you closer to him, bringing your breath to a halt as his lips were an inch away from yours.

"Don't believe anything you hear doll. Don't believe anything you see. The only one that truly knows Jimin is me. His past, his present, all he is and he is not. I am all he is and he is all we are so don't waste your time trying to draw lines. If you are here for him then you are here for me too." His hot breath as he whispered against your lips had made you unable to move an inch much more think of anything else but chaotic thoughts that consisted of anxious reminders that you were in an open place, full of people that could come around at any moment and misunderstand your close proximity.

"Fine!" You managed to snap out of it quickly enough as you pushed him and stepped back before throwing your eyes around just to reassure yourself that you had not gotten into any unnecessary trouble.

"Would it make that much of a difference if I was to say that I was here for you too and not only Jimin? Jeez! Do you even take into consideration the environment you are in?" You stormed off at him, slightly pissed with his inconsideration but to your displeasure, he just smirked.

"Wait till we are in an environment where it will be just the two of us. My offer still stands. The question is, do you really want an answer to your wonders that badly?" 

"I do but I also can't take you in on that offer." 

"Oh well, if that doesn't sound like a 'you' problem." He retorted playfully before he started taking off, leaving you behind to understand that the only reason he had placed that one-night stand as a condition was because he knew that you wouldn't agree. He had basically rejected answering anything you may be questioned about because he didn't deem you worthy of knowing.

Strangely enough, that realisation made you feel more offended than the offer he had made for in a sense it was hurting your feelings. For in his eyes, you were someone that did not care enough for Jimin. You were nothing more but a business deal in his life. A relationship that had as its aim the requirement of some benefits from both sides and once that would be over, then you would have no reason to be associated with Jimin. You would have no reason to care for him or his mental state.

Yet no matter how clear that was and how much you stood by that originally, as you watched him walking away at that moment, you couldn't help but admit to yourself. You had stopped being there for that article deal, long before today.

You had forgotten to anticipate that day when you would have your article in your hands like you usually did in the past. You had stopped seeing the interactions with Jimin as a job or an opportunity. Your interest was no longer an outcome but a process.  A time frame spent with him, with its expectancies and the fun. The silliness, the absurdities, the pettiness. The contradictions that he himself was. His company that wasn't even friendship anymore. 

Jimin had grown to be a change in your daily life that you had started to be fond of and possibly one you would like to keep. Even if it wasn't something that could be seen as a strong love, trustworthy and secure for someone like P3 to be willing to lay to you all of Jimin's wounds, you still were harvesting a kind of care and fondness. Feelings that were honest to you.

"Even if you don't trust me, you are still gonna open up to me one day." Your confident words escaped loudly out of your lips without you even realising when your thoughts had come to existence and as your words reached his ears, P3 halted his steps and turned to look over his shoulder.

"Where is this certainty coming from?" He questioned in a mocking tone for he definitely didn't deem your words as something that could become the truth any day in any future. For if there was a soul that had learned well to not trust anyone that was his.

"I am cursed. I will get to know one way or another I will get to know." You replied, assertive on that for it had always been proven true.

"Well...if that is the case, let me warn you then." P3 turned around and approached you again only to halt at a feet distance as he met your eyes firmly once more.

"His secret will be the biggest burden you will ever carry for you will never be able to tell it to any soul, not even him. Because if the moment comes when Jimin is to learn about his past, you will have to prepare yourself Y/N-" He halted his tongue and tilted his head to the side, allowing a wide smile to spread on his lips in a sickening way that made you feel disturbed to your gut.

For you had never witnessed such a contradiction, between someone's eyes and the rest of his face. The one displaying cries of hollowness while his lips a veil of poisonous joy.

"-To witness the Jimin you so much want to save, losing more than just his sanity...you will have to see him, losing his whole existence. "

---To be continued...