(Fluff and heavy angst)(warning suicide mentioned).
Dazais pov
The morning I had woken up to feel a sense of warmth wash over me. I felt the warmth of an arm wrapped around my waist and a hand resting on my stomach. I felt the warmth of the naked body of my lover pressed firmly against mine. And I felt the warmth of soft breath brushing across my neck causing goosebumps to form.
I used to hate morning because it used to mean waking up to another horrid day where I'm surrounded by humans who I have to entertain . but now I love mornings . They now mean waking up to the horrid world that I live in side by side with my lover. The one who makes my world seem brighter. Makes life worth living. My everything. My kunikida.
I heard the alarm clock ring showing my time of warmth was now used up as the warm arm lifted from my side and reached over me turning off the annoying alarm clock.
The warm body lifted from the bed and went over to the closet and opened the door. I didn't bother opening my eyes because I already knew where he was. I already knew what he would be doing. He fallowed the same routine everyday after all.
He grabbed his clothes and mine laying mine neatly on the end of the bed for when I wake up and he took his to the bathroom so he could shower and get dressed shutting the door to our bedroom as he did.
I missed the warmth he gave me so I shuffled myself to the other side of the bed trying to take in as much of his left over body heat as I could. I dug my nose into his pillow taking in his sent and I brought the blanket up to my face as I tried to feel his warmth again.
After a few minutes I heard the bedroom door open again and footsteps fallow till they reached the bed . I felt the mattress shift as a new weight was added and I felt the warmth returning to me. I felt his lips against my forehead and I heard his voice whisper to me saying I needed to get up to get ready for work. This was another part of his routine. Wake me up with kisses.
I whined but felt those soft lips against my skin again and again and again until I started laughing and pushing him away from me to stop his endless kissing. I loved this part of the routine and hoped that we would still be able to do this everyday for the rest of our lives.
I sat up and stretched then glanced at my lover who smiled at me then leaned over to kiss me gently which I kissed back. I reached over cupping his face in my hands and he held my waist pulling me close. I loved the body heat he radiated. My body seemed to always be cold but when I'm with him I'm actually comfortable.
I loved our time together as it almost always meant happiness. Of course we had our fights but we always ended up back here asleep next to each other then kissing in the morning.
After we pulled away I got up to get dressed into my work attire then left the bathroom to see him pouring coffee into two mugs making me smile. I really don't deserve this man. We sat down at the table together talking about our plans for the day as we drank our coffee.
Once we finish I clean the mug's because he doesn't like messes even if they are just two simple cups. I always did this as a sign of appreciation for what he does for me. He does so much ranging from making me good food everyday to helping me get through all my mental battles. He deserves so much so I try my best for him.
After they are clean we both leave to do our jobs. When we get to work he starts typing his reports while I laze around on the couch with my headphones on. I used to listen to the same suicide song every day but after he joined my life I could no longer find enjoyment in the idea of leaving this world. Of leaving him.
We stayed like this for a few hour when suddenly the president came in saying he had an assignment for kunikida and I.
We both went to the spot that we were supposed to but we didn't see anyone. I couldn't see anyone. I normally can tell if things are off or if someone is around but I can't.
It was quiet and kunikida and I kept walking around looking for the shooter we where supposed to stop. It was an abandoned building so I made a joke to my lover about his fear of ghosts which I find cute.
After he finished yelling at me to stop I laughed at his cute behavior he had when he was mad. I was blinded by the love I felt for him.
I didn't see the flash of the man's glasses and I didn't see the little red dot that showed just above kunikidas heart.
I didn't see any of it. All I saw was him fall to the ground and blood surround his limp body.
I grabbed my gun and shot the shooter not caring that I'm not supposed to kill. All I cared about was kunikida. My lover, my everything.
I tried to put pressure on the wound but it wasn't stopping the cold that sunk into his once warm body.
I tried giving him CPR but that didn't stop his lips turning blue. I carried him to the agency to get yasanos help but deep down I knew. The moment the bullet hit his heart
He had died.
I never got to say goodbye. I never got to say anything. The last thing I said was a joke about his fears. I couldn't say anything.
Yasano can save when one is on the edge of death. But she can't bring the dead back to life.
The once warm house I came home to was now cold. The smell from his side of the bed had disappeared and the two coffee mugs that used to be full now where empty . The home that I once loved just simply became a house. The life that I had once known and loved was now gone. Now the world has become what it used to be. I hate mornings. I hate people. I hate everything. But mostly.
I hate myself.
The president called me into his office to discuss what happened but I knew I would get in trouble for killing the shooter. Thankfully he didn't fire me but it's not like it would matter.
Now your no longer there.
Now the desk you sat at is empty
Now your notebook lay on the table gathering dust.
And now your lover sits at your grave hoping someday you might return to him.
But I know as much as it hurts you won't
So I will go to you
Till death do us part
Atsushi sat at the graves of his past mentors with tears filling his eyes reading the note dazai had given him.
Right before he died.
He looked out at the graves and read them.
Here lies kunikida doppo
Cause of death bullet wound
Here lies dazai osamu
Cause of death suicide
