Inbetween Two Worlds - Sanegiyuu

39 - Confusion

3rd person pov:

The male hicked uncontrollably in the warm graps which held him protectively, whimpering and wiping away tears that trickled down his face. The latter huffed out a small sigh of relief and ran a hand down the ravenette's back, rubbing slow circles that were sweet and endearing.

"Its okay, its okay" the scarred male mumbled, pressing the latter's head into the crook of his neck to calm him down. He cooed sweet words into the hybrid's ear, tenderly kneading the skin and sore muscles on his waist and wiping away the cold water that dripped from the latter's hair. He took off his haori, wrapping the white cotton sheet around the small male that sat in his lap alongside two more extra blankets to keep the ravenette warm.

"You suck, shinazugawa. I fucking hate you" the ravenette mumbled, earning a muffled hum in response. He looked up, eyes bearing hatred and relief as his hands shook.

"Sorry, tomioka"

"Sorry is not going to cut it" giyuu grumbled, slapping the scarred male once more whilst narrowing his eyes. He clenched his fist and smacked sanemi's chest, hitting it and taking out his frustration on the toned torso to relieve the fury he held within. Sanemi silently accepted the weak attacks - knowing that he deserved more than just a slap to his face, he didn't bothered if the ravenette hit him as payback for his bastard personality.

"I fucking hate you, shinazugawa. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I h..ate you..I.." the ravenette continuosly mumbled, mutterering cursed and slurs at the scarred male whilst he weakly punched the latter. Tear still rolled down giyuu's have, but it wasn't as much as before and his breathing was slowly becoming stable. The hybrid yawned groggily, eyes still glinting with hatred and anger but his attacks were getting slower. He yawned again, his mumblings getting softer and softer when at last, he fell limp. His hands fell to his side and he leaned against sanemi's shoulder, eyes closed as he fell into a deep slumber that cooed his tried body.

Sanemi sighed softly, patting the latter's head and tidying up the messy locks of black hair. A small smile was curved into his lips when he saw giyuu sleeping so soundly in his arms, it was adorable the way the ravenette unconsciously clung to him - almost like a child that was reluctant to let go of his favourite balloon. The scarred male wiped away the tears streaks on the hybrid's face, and the wet marks that trickled down his cheek. He stared at the ravenette in his arms, making a vow to never ever harm the ravenette again - no matter the circumstances - and that he would protect the ravenette forever.

Sanemi knew he was a huge douchebag, and he regretted his hot headed persona. If he was born with more sympathy and patience, raised in a good family and didn't have his violent tendencies, he would have been able to make the ravenette the happiest man in the world - but sadly, his wish was an impossible miracle.

He hated how he treated giyuu in the past, the way he bullied him, abused him, neglected him and laughed at his sufferings whilst judging him by his anti social behaviour was a fucked up thing to do. He had never considered that the ravenette might be suffering as well, since he had always assumed the ravenette to live a so-called 'perfect' life due to the way giyuu seemed to carry himself. He had never thought that his ex colleague would be tortured, hurt, forced to commit an atrocious crime and horribly neglected and abandoned by everyone - both physically and emotionally - whilst he had to carry the weight of the demon slayer corps and his depression.

He was judgemental, and it came with a price.

It was going to be hard to get giyuu to trust him or allow him to aid in the latter's recovery, it was going to be very hard but it was still worth a shot.

And who knows? Maybe they might have a fun time together.

Speaking of which, sanemi's face bursted into a fury of red and pink when he remembered the kiss he shared with the ravenette. He didn't know what he was thinking - to kiss someone, especially the person they hurt the most, in the middle of an arguement/ break down was a stupidly, ridiculously, thick-skinned shit to pull. Except, that it worked the way sanemi had hoped it would. The unexpected action managed to distract giyuu which allowed him to calm down and temporarily free himself from the raging self inflicted insults in his head.

Still, to kiss someone was really not sanemi's style yet, he strangely liked it.

Sanemi's pov:

Nah, that's gay.

I brushed my lips, feeling my fingers getting hot whilst I stared at tomioka's face.

Fuck no.

No
No
No

I ain't gay.

Hell nah.

I had no fucking clue why I kissed this.. birdbrain - it just felt right? I don't fucking know, my body just moved on its own.

What the fuck is happening????

I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I gazed at tomioka. Sure, he looked pretty - more prettier if he's healthy - but it's not like I like him. Right?

Nah, i can't possibly be gay. I'm straight. I know I am.

But why the fuck am I happy when Tomioka's in my arms? Is it comrade ship? Is it just - maybe gladness that he's okay? I don't fucking know.

"Fuck" I groaned out, huffing as I stared at tomioka. Not gonna lie, he looks hella pretty when he's asleep - he's long ass hair that gathered at the crook of his neck made him look entrancing and the fluttering of his eyes was quite cute in a way. I felt this weird ass feeling in my stomach whenever I stare at this Birdbrain and I fucking hate it. It felt so weird and uncomfortable yet warm and relaxing, like I could fucking take on the world when I'm next to tomioka, and I have this sudden urge to hold him and protect him from shit.

Its fucking weird.

But I can't deny that it felt good.

I sighed again, ruffling my hair violently as I stared at the celling.

This is annoying as shit.

But whatever. Those are trival matters - at least tomioka is okay, I suppose. I still didn't know what happened to him, although I only know the gist of things where,

1. He was tortured.
2. He is a cannibal - which I still hate but like shinobu what said, I should at least try to be understanding.
3. He's suicidal as fuck

I haven't seen tomioka in 2 and a half years, max, and something happened during that time period to make him look like this. Its weird how angry my stomach churned as I fueled with rage at the thought of tomioka being hurt, I didn't even know why I cared for this Birdbrain.

I don't know. Its unusual and I'm still trying to find the reason behind it.

Maybe it was our previous arguement that made me pity him? Or could it be the guilt I feel when I think of the shits I pulled. Was it another feeling that is causing me to react like this? Or was it something entrancing about tomioka which makes me care for him?

I don't fucking know.