Heat Wave (Disaster Series #2)

Kabanata 22

Solitude

By eight in the evening, we were already eating what he ordered for our dinner. And by nine, we were already drinking shots of whatever will make us have the courage to step over this certain line that is stopping us from knowing each other once again.

"Your favorite genre of music?" Natabunan ang ngiti niya nang sumimsim siya sa alak na isinalin ko para sa kanya.

"Country music," I said, my attention and interest already at its peakest.

He leaned closer on the table when he noticed my reaction. He didn't even bother to stifle his smile as he put down his glass of alcohol.

"Who's your favorite country singer?"

Bahagya akong natigilan dahil hindi agad mahagilap sa isipan ang pinakagusto sa kanila.

"Marami," sabi ko na lang nang bahagya nang nagtagal sa parteng iyon.

"Hmm..."

Mapanuya at mapaglarong tingin ang iginawad niya sa akin kaya naiiling na napatawa na lang ako bago sumimsim sa iniinom.

"I like Cody Johnson, his voice is relaxing. It's the type that makes you think of an ideal love." I sighed while playing with the glass, slowly twirling it in circular motions.

"But then if you compare Luke Combs' voice to love as well, its the type that makes you want to plunge, take the risk, and just, completely... fall..."

"Have you already found both?" He gives me all of his attention and puts down his glass on the center table.

"Uhmm... their music?" Binalingan ko rin siya, bahagyang nalilito sa tanong.

"No, both types of love."

Bahagya akong natigilan dahil sa sinabi niya. I awkwardly peeled off my gaze from him and slowly immersed myself into his question.

Have I found both?

The love that I felt towards my parents was blind. Simula nang nagkaisip ako, ang tanging alam ko lang ay mahal ko ang mga magulang ko. Mahal ko si Mama at Papa sa puntong ayaw kong paniwalaan ang mga masasamang paratang ng iba laban sa kanila.

I didn't believe that as parents, they could ever do something wrong. Because they are supposed to raise and guide us, right? So, how could they ever be wrong?

But looking back, I realize that they had their shortcomings too. They weren't perfect as parents. Though I got mad and felt betrayed at some point, that didn't make me love them less.

Papa may not be a good politician or a good husband to Mama when he had an affair with another woman, but he was certainly a good father to me.

Mama may not be a good person, but despite the darkness that's slowly swallowing her whole, I know that she tried. She tried so hard to save me from being tagged along that darkness by making a sacrifice.

So, I guess, it was the type of love that made take the risk, despite how people have been saying that my father wasn't a good man. To plunge, despite the feeling that Mama was dragging me along with her hatred. And never care... if I ever lose it all. That's what I did for them, for Mama...

But he asked me if I already found both types of love. So, have I found both?

"I don't think so," tanging naisagot ko sa kanya sa gitna ng malalim na iniisip.

"From here on, let's find both." His eyes held mine gently.

Looking at him, a melancholic nostalgia touched my core and held every part of me painfully.