Heat Wave (Disaster Series #2)

Kabanata 7

Hesitation

Nang nakauwi na ako galing sa klase ay umalis nga si Gon. Papuntang Manila. That's what I heard from the other househelps. They even mentioned the name of his fiancee, Celest Gabriel.

Days passed by and he's still not home.

I swallowed the bile on my throat and downed my glass of water. Sa higit isang linggo na pag-stay ko rito bilang working student ay medyo nasanay na ako... na magkasabay kami palaging kumain. And now that he's not here ay iyong mga kasamahan ko na lang na kasambahay ang kasabay.

"Dito na kaya titira iyong si Ma'am Celest, 'no? Baka pag-uwi ni Sir, magkasama na sila," si Ate Julie nang hindi na napigilan pa ang kuryosidad.

I shifted on my seat. I don't get why they gossip freely about the Cavalleros when we're here in their own mansion. Ay, oo nga pala, wala pareho ang mga amo namin dito. Don Primero's still in abroad and Gon went to Manila to be with his fiancee.

"Ay sigurado 'yan. Baka nga ngayong buwan din ang kasal? Kaya nga uuwi na rito bukas si Sir Arcus."

The food tastes bland on my tongue. I'm done with dinner. Tumayo na ako dala ang pinggan ko habang patuloy pa rin sila sa pag-uusap doon sa hapag. I sighed and started washing my own dishes.

I wonder if they really are getting married this month. If they are... then that means my plans are starting to crumble down into worthless pieces.

I don't think I have made any progress with Gon. I don't think he even likes me one bit.

Hapo akong nahiga sa kama ko pagkatapos ng iilang gawain. I don't know why I feel tired when my whole day is not even that exhausting. I stared flatly on the ceiling, trying to make my mind blank even when thoughts are starting to plague me.

Sana pala sumama na lang ako kina Quan nang magyaya sila ulit imbes na magmuni-muni na lang dito. But then, I can't go partying when I'm a working student that's supposed to be home early and help with the chores.

I blinked when my thoughts got interrupted with the sudden ringing of my phone. It's Mama, she usually calls me every night during this hour.

"Tequila, anak, how are you?" her mellow voice greeted on the other line.

"Just a bit exhausted, Mama. But I'm fine, I'm in my room now."

I slowly inhaled and exhaled. Lying on my bed, with my messy uncombed hair all over the pillows, staring at the ceiling while I'm on the phone, made me feel pathetic.

Dahan-dahan at unti-unti, ay bumabagsak sa akin ang pakiramdam ng walang kasiguraduhan. I don't know why I'm doing this, I don't know why I'm here. I don't know if this is right, I don't know if this is wrong.

I don't know exactly what to do. Mali. Alam ko. Alam na alam ko ang kung anong dapat na gawin. But it is becoming slightly different now. What's making me confused? My guilt? My conscience?

"Okay. How is it going with the eldest Cavallero?"

When I opened my mouth to answer, it felt as if the wind blows all my words straight back down to my throat. I can't even lie to her like what I did before when she asked me about him.

"Gonsalvus went to Manila. Susunduin iyong fiancee niya na si Celest Gabriel... the other househelps even think they'll be getting married this month," I honestly answered.

Biglang natahimik si Mama sa kabilang linya. Somehow, I can hear her heavy breathing. Isang pamilyar na ritmo sa tuwing galit na galit siya. Sa tuwing nilulukob siya ng matitinding emosyon.

Hearing her react like that on the other line suddenly broke all the barriers that I felt just a while ago. What was I thinking? Was I starting to get lost in my feelings that I forgot what the Cavalleros did to my father? To us?