Heat Wave (Disaster Series #2)

Kabanata 36

Letter

Nang nasa labas na ako ng gates nila ay hindi ko na alam pa kung anong gagawin.

Should I wait for Gon here?

Bigla akong nakaramdam ng awa para sa sarili kaya nagpasya akong umuwi na lang.

I have to walk from here, to the other end of El Valencia, where our mansion is. Hanggang kabilang dulo pa ang lalakarin ko dahil naiwan ko ang purse sa loob. Even my phone is in the table...

Napasinghap ako at nanghihinang napahilamos sa mukha.

I can't come back inside to get that. Definitely not. Don Primero threatened to call the security on me.

The least I can do right now is to respect his wishes and to leave...

What should I do now?

Patuloy ang pagpatak ng mga luha ko habang naglalakad at patuloy rin itong tinutuyo ng matayog na sikat na araw.

I've always loved the sun. But this particular day, it became harsher on my skin. Fiercer and glaring now that I have to walk all the way back home.

Sa mabagal na paglalakad ko ay paulit-ulit na umaalingawngaw sa utak ko ang komprontasyong iyon. I don't even have to talk that much. I couldn't defend myself because I was really at fault.

No matter how I try to save myself and tell my version of the story that I was fooled too, that wouldn't make me less guilty. I did all of that when I was eighteen. I should've known better. I should've act wiser.

Nadadaanan ko na ngayon ang dating pamilihan na madalas kong madaanan noon sa tuwing papuntang school, o 'di kaya, no'ng bumibisita ako sa rancho ng mga Cavallero.

The stalls that used to be made out of bamboo and woods are now replaced by a concrete cement. Mas umayos ang puwesto at mas marami nang bumibiling tao.

My eyes lingered a bit in there when I remembered a memory.

I shook my head and continued walking. Kasabay ng paglalakad ko ulit ay ang pagpunas ko ng natuyong mga luha sa pisngi gamit ang likod ng kamay ko.

"Teka, Miss! Parang pamilyar ka ah?" sigaw ng isang ale na siyang nakapagpalingon sa akin.

I caught a glimpse of the familiar faces that used to whisper and murmur whenever I pass by. I remember their buzzing voices, the insults that they tried to say with their hushed voices but rang so loud in my ears.

Umiling ako at kaagad na tumalikod, mabilis na naglalakad para tuluyang malagpasan na ang pamilihan.

"Siya nga! Iyong anak ng corrupt na Governor? Ba't nandito ulit 'yan sa El Valencia? Eh nagpakamatay na ang stepmother n'yan ah? Ano pang binabalikan niyan dito?"

Ramdam ko ang paglabas nila sa kanya-kanyang stalls nila, para ba akong nakakaintrigang tao na kailangan nilang tingnan ng mas malapit.

I tried to walk faster. But somehow, my feet got tired and I slowed down.

I let out a shaky breath and chose to do what I do best before, ignore...

I know better now. Pero kahit pala sa daming nagbago, sa dami kong natutunan, sa dami kong naranasan, may hindi pa rin pala nagbabago.

Words still cut deep. Deeper than an actual knife could create a gaping wound on your chest.

Hindi ko na makontrol ang paghinga ko. One mention of Mama's suicide and how it came out of their mouths so casually spread coldness in my system.

How could they say it so easily?

Ikinuyom ko ang kamao ko at tuluyan nang napahinto.

I looked at them with teary eyes that's full of anger. Pero tila hindi nila maintindihan na tao rin ako at may nararamdaman nang nagpatuloy sila sa pang-uusisa.