Dream || Neteyam

Ten

stars will fall by duster is kind of a good song for this.
I think this chapter is more about growth, and this song is kinda sad, but I like the way the words flow with it so yeah :)

The rain comes the next day.

Everything I need comes with rain. Besides my spirit sister, it is the biggest comfort to me in these past few years.

After everything yesterday, the rain gives me hope.

It makes my mind stop. It gives me access to be able to look at the situations in a different way.

It makes everything slow down. Even with the loud patters, and crashing waves, to me, it is calmer in a way.

No one is out. A couple people across the water, on the other side of the beach, gathers the nets thrown out the night before.

Neteyam last night is one of the biggest things tolling on my mind. His behavior was so weird and out of place for him.

There is ignoring him, or talking to him.
I want to do neither.

Normally, when dealing with something like this, I would ignore him. But something in the back of my mind is telling me to talk to him.

Hearing what he has to say scares me. There is no reason for him to be jealous.

Him and I are friends. Lo'ak and I are friends. Everyone is friends.

Looking up to the dark blue sky, I hold my palms up to it while they rest on my crossed legs.

Great Mother, please guide me through this
everything is so unclear
please settle my mind
please send me signs
please give me strength to do what you want me to do

The wind blows towards me, moving the rain harshly on my face.

Maybe she heard me.

I roll my eyes, and stand up, wiping my hand on the back of my legs.

Wet, dark sand covers them. I walk from my spot on the sand, under the tree out to the edge of the sand.

I walk into the cold water, and walk along the beach with my feet in the water.

Our water is never cold, only when it rains. Even now, it is still warm, just not what I am used to.

My breath is calm, however, the waves are mighty.

It feels like they are reflecting me.

mind crashing, breaths steady
water barrels into the shore, steadily going back out

Chimes sound harshly from someone's marui. Despite the vast wind, they still sound good.

It feels like everything is heightened. The strength of my thoughts, the grounded feeling from my feet.

As I approach the edge of the beach, the pit in my stomach also grows.

The edge of the beach leads to part of the forest. The part of the forest that looks over the reef.

Often times, I do not go here.

Coming here intimidates me.

I begin to turn around, keeping my eyes on the little path between the plants.

Instead of turning around all the way, I move back towards the path.

My breath becomes deeper.

Climbing up the path, my mind becomes cluttered again. Everything comes back to me, despite the rain.

Nothing regarding recent comes, it is all from the past. Everything I block out.

The smile.

The laugh. It is almost like I hear it.

I dont blink. Everything is practically frozen.

At the top, I freeze. Do I want to go on?

The overwhelming feeling is telling me to. I just can't relive everything.

The last time I was up here was a year ago. It did not go well.

I step forward.

Our rock looks the same. It feels the same.

A huge rock sits in front of me. It looks over the reef and the outside of the reef, to the ocean.

I close my eyes and take in a deep breath.

Tears begin to gather in my eyes when I open them again. Shit.

I walk up to the rock brushing my hand against it.

A smile comes across my face, but a tear begins to fall out.

Grabbing one of the sides, I pull myself up and maneuver onto the rock.

Breathing deeply, I finally look out.

A long ways away, you can see where the sun peeks through the clouds.

Everything turns silent. Rain falls onto me, but I feel numb.

The conversations come back to me. The feelings come back to me.

//

love an emotional chapter.

it's short, but I wanted to really get her feelings out and make more to the story

I feel like after I write what happens and come back and read this chapter imma cry 😭