I've got you - AL12

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Recently you had been promoted to F2 and you hadn't been too anxious, which shocked you, until you found out your boyfriend, Arthur, was being promoted to F1. Today was your last day in F3 and Arthur's last day in F2.

It just didn't feel right. It had been a little over a month since your little brother had passed away and he was supposed to be here. You'd promised him that he could come to this one, with his chemo supposed to be over by now but he died before you could tell him he was coming to the race. You hadn't competed in a race two weeks ago, the team knowing that you needed the time off.

You arrived at the track and parked your car but couldn't bring yourself to get out, walk to garage and drive. It was like your legs wouldn't work and however hard your brain tried, you just couldn't move. You were rooted to the spot.

What if something happened to Arthur? Or your mum whilst you were racing and you didn't know? You couldn't take something like that. Questions spun round in your head.

"Are you ok, Y/N?" your trainer asked. "We should be heading to the garage." she added. You nodded, not really in the frame of mind to say anything. You weren't really the sort of person to talk about your anxiety, prefering to keep it closed in even though you knew that it wasn't the best choice.

Your hands were uncontrollably shaking along with your breathing. Your heart was racing. All sorts of questions, scenarios and what ifs ran round in your head. Your mind was elsewhere.

"I'm going to call Arthur." your trainer said, but it felt distant. You heard her get out the car and her muffled voice as she spoke to him.

You felt like such an idiot. You should have known this was coming. You should have listened to your body. The noises of crowds filling into the track seemed distant and muffled.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and flinched. You closed your eyes and took deep breaths, trying to calm yourself as quickly as possible whilst tears flowed down your face.

"Take a breath, Y/N, you can do this." you heard a muffled voice say, but soon recognised as Arthur. He seemed so far away.

"I got you." he said, pulling you into a hug. You tried to steady your breathing by matching it with his, but once again it didn't work. You felt so helpless. The faint smell of his cologne entered your nose.

"Come on, Y/N. You've got this. Deep breaths." he told you. The tears slowly dried up and the volume of the world returned to normal. You squeezed him tightly, in an effort to let him know that you were ok.

"I've got you. You're ok." Arthur said. You slowly opened your eyes and looked up at him. Love filled his eyes. This didn't phase him at all, he was still just as sure that he wanted to be with you forever.

You leant back into the seat as Arthur stood by the door.

"I can't do this anymore. I'm going to have to let Prema down." you mumbled, the tears returning to your damp eyes. "Shh, it's ok. I'm not letting you go. You're safe." he told you, holding your hands and looking into your eyes.

"I can't, Arthur. I can't do it to you, to my parents, to the fans. It's not fair. I can't hurt people like that." you said. "What do you mean?" he asked. "I can't get back in that car. It's over. I'm never going to get to F1. If I quit now, nobody is going to want to give me a seat. My career will be gone but it might just be for the better. I can't get into that car, Arthur. I really can't." you told him.

He sighed and took a deep breath. He didn't know what to say but it soon settled in his mind.

"That's ok. Everybody understands. I'll be here with you whatever you need. This is the last one then we've got the winter break. Prema won't mind at all. If you want to quit, that's ok. I'll still be here, through it all. Weather it's F2, F3 or something different, it's all ok." he said.

"Thank you." you mumbled. He wiped away your tears before the pair of you walked in together.

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