❝May I have this dance, darling?❞ A soft chuckle escaped from his lips as he asked for my hand. He was close, way too close. I scoffed as his intense gaze carefully studied the frustration and disbelief that fell on my face.
❝We're really going to d...
TW// Mentions of body dysmorphia, eating disorders.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Carla Rossi.
I've been staring at the mirror, all dolled up to be presented at the ball hosted by my family for the Capo and his family. Today's the big day. The day when the course of my future would change for the worse. I've been trying to find Carla Rossi for almost an hour, but I just don't see her.
I stared at the girl who stood before me, behind the mirror. Behind all the makeup that enhanced her features, I saw her vacant, soulless eyes, her hidden eyebags and her dark circles. I saw her hollow cheekbones, her slightly crooked nose, her dry, parched lips, her horrid body, I noted what was imperfect about her, which turned out to be everything.
There was not one thing about the girl standing before me that I liked. I've always tried to like her, but it's difficult, it's an never ending battle. She has imperfections scattered all over her like the stars are scattered all over the starry night.
She is not Carla Rossi.
Carla Rossi is the epitome of elegance and perfection, the girl I see through the mirror is the complete opposite of what defines Carla Rossi.
Because, for a spilt second, I saw blood splattered on her face, on my face.
I could see that my hauntingly beautiful mind decided to play tricks on me again, trying to scare me by flashing scenes of the night I killed Aldo Moretti. Here's the thing though, I felt absolutely no remorse for my actions, he had it coming.
The days of me running away in fear from my monsters while screaming for mercy and pity are officially over. Aldo was just the beginning of the end of every monster who scarred me. I had taken the liberty to seal the fate of every tormentor who wished for my downfall and ripped me to pieces. If that notion of mine makes me a monster, then so be it.
My visions starts to blur as I began to become upset.
I grab my phone and slowly walk away from the mirror and walk to my empty bathtub and slid into it as my vision became blurrier due to my tears. I began to hear voices of the people who I worked with, telling me that I'm a worthless fuck toy.
I embrace myself as I find it hard to breathe.
If I can't see Carla Rossi, how am I going to convince the world that I am Carla Rossi?
I look like Carla Rossi, not sure if I am her though.
I frantically grab my phone and call Jasmine, one of my best friends in New York. She is a clinically licensed therapist who's been my true knight in shining armor. We've both become best friends over the years. When I am with her, I don't have to worry about being judged and ridiculed. With her it's like I'm talking to a close friend with whom I trust with all my secrets, problems and opinions.
