Finding Her Way

Chapter 20

Skylar's POV

The next 2 weeks floated by. I slept as much as I could, hoping the pain would decrease. I was stuck eating lunch by myself in the library.

My school grades were the highest they've ever been before.

I was constantly seeing Kennedy and Rusty together, which confused me. Rusty said he wanted me back, yet he sticks around with Kennedy. I would also catch Rider staring at me during class. It was unsettling.

You can't just undo your feelings for somebody, they stick with you.

I drove home after school one day to be greeted by another unfamiliar car.

I walked inside, "Hello?"

"Skylar? It's your mom," my mom called back.

"What are you doing back so soon?" I asked, walking through the kitchen. In the living room, along with my mother, was pregnant Ashley and Colin. "And what are they doing here?"

Ashley spoke up, "I wanted to come and see how you were doing. You said that boy Rider was staying with you. Where is he?"

No point in lying, right?

"He left me," I muttered. I threw my backpack on the floor and sat down on the couch.

Ashley didn't look surprised, but my mom on the other hand...

"You had a boy staying with you?" She demanded.

"He didn't spend the night, mom. Calm down," I sighed.

She sighed. "That's better. We're you two...you know? A couple?"

I shook my head, "To be honest, I don't know what we were and I don't know why it hurts so much."

Ashley spoke again, "You had a relationship with him. Not a loving one, necessarily. He was there for you when nobody else was. And for what you've gone through, it was a pleasant change. Your mind isn't used to being with somebody, and them just leaving, changes you," she explained, folding her hands.

I thought about what she said. Yes, I have been alone most of my life. But what I felt for Rider was more than just a friendly relationship, I wanted to be with him, all the time. When he left it hurt more than Rusty leaving me, and that says something.

"He left me to protect me," I explained.

"Why?" Ashley asked.

"He said something about him only hurting me in the end. But when he left, that hurt more than anything," I croaked.

My mom spoke up again,"I think what you felt, was something special."

"Don't act like you know me, please," I begged.

She pursed her lips and nodded.

Colin spoke up, "Can Skylar and I have a moment alone?"

"Absolutely," my mom said, nodding her head vigorously.

They went outside to the patio.

"So, let's get right to it," Colin said.

"What do you want to hear?" I asked.

"Tell me how you really feel about Rider. I promise I'm not going to tell Ashley, your obviously upset about this," he said. I believed him.

"I wanted to tell Rider what I felt, you know? But I couldn't find the words to describe it. And I know somebody like Rider would never settle down with somebody like me. So I tried to blow off my feelings. When he told me he was leaving, it was like a tornado sweeping into my life and taking out everything nice. Rider was the last thing in my life that made me happy," I whispered, tears pooling in my eyes.