Finding Her Way

Chapter 9

Rider and I turned in our essays about a week ago. We were sitting in class, waiting for them to be handed back.

We were all chatting quietly while Mrs. Martin passed back our essays.

Rider was sitting by me, his leg shaking.

"Would you stop that?" I laughed.

"No. I'm nervous," he snapped.

His anxiety just made me laugh harder. Rider had put a lot of hard work into this essay, and I made sure our teacher knew that. I talked to her about it the day I turned it in.

She was surprised to hear about his participation and told me she would take that into effect when grading.

Mrs. Martin walked over to us.

"I'm glad to say that you two got the highest grade. I'm very proud of you Rider, Skylar told me about all the work you were doing. At this rate, your going to pass my class," she smiled.

"Look at that, Sky. We should be partners more often,"he smiled, patting me on the back.

We got a 98.

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Rusty hadn't been to lunch in the past 3 weeks, he joined the basketball team and became captain. And I guess being captain came with a lot of responsibility. I constantly found him ditching on our plans. But I can't really blame him for ditching, but if he just wanted to come sleep at my house that would be fine.

Just because Rusty wasn't sitting with us anymore, doesn't mean Rider left. In fact, Rider and I have become extremely close. Even Kennedy noted that, walking to chemistry.

"What's up with you and rider?" She asked out of the blue.

"He and I have become really good friends, actually. That English project brought us together. Turns out, he's not an awful person," I smiled.

"Skylar, are you sure? Rider seems to think different," she said.

"What do you mean?" I asked, stopping at my locker.

"He doesn't act like just a friend. He buys you lunch and carries your books around for you. And he's constantly giving you this look of confusion when you aren't looking," she said, frowning.

"Haha. Okay. We're just friends. Besides I love Rusty," I blushed.
He really was perfect.

"He's been ditching on you for weeks now," she practically yelled.

"He's been busy!" I snapped, defending him.

"Skylar, he's going to break your heart and it's not going to be pretty," she said, flatly.

"When that happens, you can say I told you so," I rolled my eyes.

"I plan on it," she muttered.

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What Kennedy said earlier never really left my mind. I mean, in a way she was right. Rusty was constantly ditching me and never trying to make up for it. But I can't just call him up and tell him to quit basketball.

But I did call him.

"Hey sweetcheeks," he answered on the third ring.

"Hey," I said, smiling even though he couldn't see me.
He sounded like he was in a crowd. There was a lot of chatter and cheering.

"What's up? Something wrong?" He asked.

"Yeah..." I said slowly. "When can you come and see me?"

"I can't right now. Fight club. But I can come over tomorrow morning?" He said, sounding unsure.

"Yeah. It's Saturday and you know I like to sleep in, but whatever time you can come over," I said, giving into his needs.

"I'll be over around 8 then. Bye," he said and then hung up.

I didn't even get an "I love you."

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The doorbell rang. I was still cuddled in bed when I realized that Rusty was coming over. I bolted out of bed and changed into some more appropriate clothes than a tank top and booty shorts.

I brushed my teeth quick and ran down the stairs.

I pulled open the door and saw Rusty. He was once again beat up. But he looked angry. He was towering over me with a pissed off look.

"What's wrong?" I asked, cautious.

He pushed the door open and stalked inside.

"I've been banging on the door for the past 5 minutes and ringing your doorbell. You knew I was coming over, why weren't you up?" He yelled, making me flinch.

My sweet, caring Rusty was nowhere to be seen in his body language or face.

"I didn't set an alarm because I don't accommodate to your every need," I argued back, getting angry.

"Well your wasting my time by not being ready," he growled.

"Don't start with me! You've been ditching me for the past 3 weeks because your busy. The least you could do is apologize for that! And you don't own me so don't go telling me what to do!" I yelled back at him.

"Your my girlfriend, you shouldn't be yelling at me! I do everything for you and here you are being a bitch about this," he shouted, his face becoming red.

Ouch.

"Do you hear yourself right now? You haven't said jack shit to me in the past 3 weeks!" I yelled, my voice cracking.

"Maybe because I'm trying to get you to leave me the fuck alone!" He roared.

"What?" I whispered, eyes stinging.

"I can't be with you because I killed your dad! I ran my car into his, causing him to veer off the road and hit the tree! It was my plan to kill him. I never wanted to be with you. I just wanted a way to tell you I killed him, and it felt good. That's the only reason I dated you. I never loved you," he boomed, shooting daggers into my eyes.

He stared at me for one more moment and then stomped out of my house, slamming the door.

My knees gave out, causing me to buckle to the floor and lay their in sorrow. No tears came out and it made me mad. I wanted to scream and yell and thrown things all while crying. But my body wouldn't listen to my mind. It felt like somebody shoved their hand through my chest and placed a hundred pound weight there. Every breath I took, hurt. My head was pounding from the yelling. My stomach twisted in pain from the abandonment. Another person just upped and walked out of my life. Not to mention that Rusty killed my dad.

I fell in love with my dad's killer and I still felt pain over my loss. How was he never caught? Maybe I didn't know the full extent of my dad's accident. Now, as I lay here and think about it, I never even knew why my dad came here. Or why my mom moved us here. But I didn't want to think about it. I just wanted to sleep and never wake up.

I closed my eyes and fell alseep to the ticking of the kitchen clock.