The Beekeeper

Chapter 16

The journey home was made in silence. With each step she took, she felt the weight of guilt and sadness pressing on her. She had abandoned him, again - after he had begged her to stay. When he woke and found her gone, he would be heartbroken – and furious. And it had been so difficult to leave him. There had been such a look of peace about him while she watched him in repose. And she wanted to stay with him, to see that he never again wanted for love and caring.

But Edwin was her husband – in truth, her lord and master. No matter what her own feelings were, she was bound to the man to whom she was wed – and she felt she owed him a debt, for he was gifting her with the care that her father now required. He had hired a young maid to help care for him, as Lucas's health was fading with each passing day. She had stayed with him while they attended the tourney, but Cassia had bristled at the idea of someone else doing what she had done for so long. Edwin, however, had insisted that she no longer burden herself with such difficult tasks.

The thought of it weighed on her already low spirits. Ever since Edwin's return, she had felt such a sense of domination over her life – as if she had been placed in chains, and was expected to consent to every command. She began to harbor a secret wish that her husband had never returned - for what had his return brought her other than misery and heartache? And in the very next moment, she cursed herself for thinking so dark a thought.

Her head was lowered as she and Agatha approached the front door of the house – and it opened suddenly, Edwin appearing before them. He looked them both up and down.

"Cassia, where have you been?"

She opened her mouth to reply. But Edwin spoke again, his words giving her a chill.

"Your father has been asking for you."

As she and Agatha stepped inside, removing their cloaks, Stephen appeared from the back room. He was holding up a candle - and as Cassia approached him, she saw the grave look on his face. It caused a lump to form in her throat.

"Has his condition worsened?" she asked.

Reaching out, he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Go and see him, Cassia."

The moment she stepped into the room, her eyes filled with tears. Lying back on the pillows with his eyes closed, Lucas was still and pale. She feared that he was gone already - but she hurried to his side and took his hand. At the feeling of her touch, he opened his eyes - and she pressed his palm against her cheek, speaking softly to him.

"Father, I am here."

A weak little smile came to his lips. "I have waited for you, daughter."

"I am home," she said – tears filling her eyes.

His words were growing softer. "You are so much like your mother. I will be with her by morning."

Such a declaration struck her with a vicious pain. Desperate for some way to distract herself, hoping it would delay the inevitable, she began adjusting his pillows and his coverlet. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

"Do not say such things. You will be well soon."

He spoke on as if she had said nothing. He seemed to be trying to comfort her – to assure her of the peace he was now feeling.

"I go home to God without fear. Be a good girl, Cassia. Take good care of your husband. He loves you so."

Looking up at Edwin, and then back to her father, she kissed Lucas's hand lovingly - stifling a sob.

"I will. I promise."

A thousand memories seemed to flash in her mind all at once. She was a child again, laughing as he held her up high above his head. She was a young girl, following him and Stephen on a fishing excursion - and then she was a new bride and he was placing her hand in Edwin's as they stood outside the church. But now, she was looking down at him, seeing the absolutely stillness of his figure as it lay before her. Her eyes searched him, desperate for some last sign of life. But there was no movement. No tremble. Just silence. Lowering her head to her arms, she broke down into shaking torrents of grief.