[BL] I shouldn't have married the crown prince

Chapter 52

Lately I have had a hard time sleeping. I sometimes woke up to nightmares and couldn't get back to sleep. For now it wasn't a big problem but I knew I couldn't continue sleeping only three hours per night. I usually tried getting back to sleep but gave up and started reading instead. I sometimes could get back to sleep for a few minutes before I had to go for breakfast but most of the time I just waited for the sun to come up.

During breakfast, Cadmael didn't ask anything about Alphonse. He hadn't seen him yet but he didn't ask if he was fine and he didn't give him any vacation to get better either. He just didn't care. However, he did ask me if I had good dreams. Now that I knew, I couldn't unsee it. Cadmael was really attentive with me but he never paid attention to others. What could I do to help him with his shyness?

When I was in his study he didn't hold back from interrupting other people and told them things coldly and in a very strict manner. Everyone walked on eggshells around him and thought about everything twice before speaking. Had Cadmael always been this way? Did I never see it? What else didn't I notice? I was staring at Cadmael for too long and he felt it. He turned to me and smiled:

"Do you want something?"

His voice was extremely warm and I understood why everyone was so surprised and always staring at me. Was he this cold to everyone and only warm to me?

"I... Hum... Sorry I just wanted some plums..."

The plate full of plums was at the other end of the desk and Cadmael took the plate before putting it in front of him. He then took the knife and started peeling one before taking out the pit and handing me the rest. Knowing how strange this was made me blush and I quickly took the fruit before turning away:

"Thank you."

Cadmael didn't understand but didn't think much about it and went back to what he was doing. I didn't want to listen to what was going on and was even thinking about disappearing. When Cadmael felt me move he turned to me immediately and motioned to the ministers to stop talking:

"Is everything okay?"

I almost choked in surprise and Cadmael helped me drink water. He wasn't helping at all!

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to leave. I didn't feel like this was my place.

-You aren't disturbing anyone, don't worry.

-But..."

I looked at the ministers who didn't seem to agree at all. Cadmael followed my gaze and asked again:

"Right?"

I saw the ministers flinch and was shocked to see how scared they were of Cadmael. This wasn't okay. How did this happen? If he was this nice to me it meant he was capable of it. Now that I knew I couldn't sit around and do nothing about it. When the minister's left I tugged at Cadmael's sleeve. He turned to me with a smile but got more serious when he saw my frown:

"What's wrong?"

He suddenly cupped my face and looked at me worried:

"Is there something wrong? Are you hurt somewhere?"

I pushed his hands away, still frowning:

"Cadmael, you have to be nice to people."

He frowned:

"Did someone complain?

-No, but I could see how frightened the ministers were. You are a really nice person. Why are you behaving this way?

-You think I am a nice person?

-Of course! You are always really attentive with me. Why can't you behave the same way with everyone?"