[BL] I shouldn't have married the crown prince

Chapter 9

I ran into the crying stranger more quickly than I would have thought. He was sitting on the fountain looking at the water and I ran to talk to him:

"Excuse me!"

The stranger looked up and smiled when recognizing me:

"Hello again.

-Do you feel better?

-Yes, much. Thank you for the last time."

I sat down next to him hesitant to speak.

"I don't want to pry but I really think that you deserve better. I'm not here to tell you what to do or to judge you in any way. I just want to tell you that what I personally believe is that you should break up with him. You deserve so much better than this. And he isn't treating you right."

Gilbert's eyes became rounder than I would have thought possible.

"Break up with whom?

-With the man who made you cry.

-Do we seem like a couple?

-I'm sorry if I misunderstood but you said that you loved him. I didn't mean to spy on you, I just happened to be near."

Gilbert laughed and I was taken aback. I didn't expect him to laugh.

"I am not accusing you of anything. But if you want to know, we are not going out. We are just sleeping together."

I expected this even less and felt my cheeks growing hotter. I didn't need details.

"Is he forcing you?"

Gilbert laughed again.

"No. You heard me say I loved him.

-I prefer to ask.

-You really don't have to worry. I'm fine.

-But this doesn't excuse anything. You are in a kind of relationship nevertheless and he should treat you with respect. That's the bare minimum. You are a human being. Not his pet.

-Wow, you are really worried about me.

-Of course."

Gilbert smiled before getting closer to me. His face was suddenly way different from the kind and sad one I saw earlier.

"What is it?

-I'll let you in on a secret."

I frowned. Did he have to be this close?

"I don't love him."

I needed a moment to process. Seeing me lost, Gilbert finally drew back, his mysterious smile still clear on his face.

"But you said...

-I lied. Just like the tears. You were so cute worrying about me that I felt bad lying to you too.

-So you don't love him."

Gilbert laughed really loudly and almost fell in the fountain.

"Who would love him? You saw how despicable he was.

-Then...

-Why am I sleeping with him? Or why am I pretending?

-Well, both.

-He has something I need. As simple as that.

-Can I help you get it?

-Well, I guess you could but I've been pretending for almost a year now. Our contract will soon come to an end and I'll be free. I was so clingy that he won't ever try to find me and I'll live a peaceful life far away from here.

-Still if I can help with anything..."

Gilbert suddenly hugged me and we fell in the fountain because of the momentum. All wet, Gilbert started laughing uncontrollably:

"I'm so sorry. You were just so cute I couldn't hold back anymore."

Gilbert was still holding me so I struggled to get up from the water. He suddenly realized that I was struggling and let me go.

"I'm so sorry. Do you want me to get you something to change into? I should have a blazer in my locker.

-No it's okay. I will soon dry anyway."

Cadmael appeared as soon as Gilbert left. Seeing me all wet he soon started taking his clothes off. I turned immediately red and tried stopping him:

"What are you doing?

-Giving you my clothes.

-It's okay. I'll dry soon anyway.

-But you will catch a cold.

-I won't get sick from this much.

-But we can see everything."

I followed his gaze and saw that my white shirt was in fact seen through now. Cadmael continued striping but I still didn't let him:

"What would you wear if you gave me your clothes?

-I'll wear yours.

-The wet ones? Out of the question."

Cadmael started pouting but I made up my mind. How could I take this young child's clothes? He was already bullied enough and I didn't want to add to his misery. Cadmael seemed very bothered by my rejection and told me not to move before disappearing. He came back right away and handed me a sweater.

"Wear this.

-Is it your sweater?

-Yes. I'll go get you new clothes after.

-No need. This is fine."

I accepted the sweater but it was way too big for me. I looked at Cadmael ready to complain about his huge build but he seemed so happy that I didn't say anything. Was he that happy that he helped me? He was so cute that I rubbed his head just like I would do for a puppy. I suddenly realized what I did and retracted my hand surprised.

"Sorry."

Who was I treating like a puppy? He was the future emperor of the country. I had to show a little respect. What if he killed me because I treated him like a child? Cadmael looked at me for a bit before taking my hand and placing it back on his head. He closed his eyes and smiled.

"I like it."

I couldn't hold back my laughter. I wanted to tell him that he looked like a puppy but thought that an emperor wouldn't like that so I just rubbed his head which widened his smile. Poor child. His father abandoned him in a precarious environment and he never felt any warmth from anyone. This was no way for a child to grow up. I already abandoned him for 11 years. Did I have the right to abandon him again? I really wanted to comfort him. Was this okay?

Diana asked me to go for tea one time a week and I agreed. I was scared of getting close to her but one : I didn't want to be rude and two : I really liked her company. We usually went to the same place and talked about books for hours. I always left without telling Cadmael and when I came back he was always waiting for me as a little abandoned puppy. I brought him cake but didn't tell him who I was with, which made him pout.

As we were talking with Diana one day, our conversation drifted from books to animals and especially horses.

"I really love horses. I think they are the most gracious creatures I've ever met. I really like rabbits as well but horses have a special place in my heart. What about you?"

I froze and forced myself to smile:

"I really love horses too."

This made Diana smile but for some reason I started shaking. As I arrived home I went to the stables for some reason. I haven't come since I was a child and felt really out of place. I felt so dizzy that I ran away immediately.