Chrysalis Days & Butterfly Nights [Wattys 2023 Shortlist]

33

33

The days wore on and Butterfly's last night approached like a glacier. There was nothing anyone could do and the closer it came to that last, fateful night, the worse Helen became. It didn't affect her performances, unless the people who knew her watched closer than usual, nor did it stop her from being as Helen as usual, but there remained a dulled edge to her. She no longer had that bite that made her so special. And she drank even more.

Krystal, as loyal and caring as possible, watched Helen like a hawk and took up much of the slack left by Helen's ever-growing heavy heart. It affected her, as it affected Luke, but they both knew that the only thing that could draw Helen from her mood was Butterfly, the people that worked there and those customers that still remained. So badly had she taken the unstoppable march to the end, that she had almost become a sexual recluse. Bedding only one or two men a week.

"Oh, what about that chap at the main bar, earlier? He looked hot." Krystal tried to engage Helen as Lucinda served someone further along. "A quick knee-trembler and you'll be right as rain."

"Had him. Two, no, three months ago. He was shit." With her back to the bar, elbows supporting her, Helen did as she had done for weeks. From the corner of her eye, at first, but now more noticeable. Taking in every inch of Butterfly. Committing it to her memory. "Small cock. Not just, you know, below average. I mean small. I swear, he fucked my arse cheeks, not my hole. I felt a bit sorry for him, but not enough to go through that again."

A bottle, dangling from her fingers, raised to her mouth until she realised she had finished the drink already. Without looking over her shoulder, she waved the bottle at Lucinda and dropped it. It clattered against the bar top and Lucinda only just managed to catch it before it rolled off, onto the floor. This was Helen at her worst. A Helen that appeared to not care about anyone.

When Lucinda saw Mary approaching, holding her wife's hand and with two other women at her flanks, Lucinda almost bounded over the bar to hug her. She needed someone normal to talk to. Someone not caught up in their own drama, or caught up in their friend's. Lucinda loved Helen and Krystal dearly, but, sometimes, they annoyed the hell out of her. Friends, they had their ups and downs.

"Hello, Lucy!" Mary leaned across the bar and kissed Lucinda on the lips. She pulled her wife to a seat and the other two women slid onto seats further along. "Sarah, you know and these two lovelies are Sarah's work friends. Poppy, here, and Annalise at the end. I think we all want beers?"

Mary looked along the line, receiving nods from each. Sarah, Lucinda had come to know well after accepting Mary's dressing side. The other two were not anyone that Mary had come to Butterfly with before. The brunette, Poppy, had a little bit of a look of Elaine about her. Something in the eyes, perhaps, or in the smile that looked as though it were about to crack her face as she grinned toward Helen, who didn't acknowledge her. Annalise neither smiled nor scowled, only taking a long look around the Quiet Room.

As Lucinda passed across the bottles, taking Mary's money and giving her change, the woman called Poppy continued to catch Lucinda's attention. She stared, blatantly at Helen, but, then again, Helen had that affect on a lot of people. Meanwhile, Mary and Sarah appeared to find each other's company far more fascinating than the beer, the surroundings or Sarah's friends. They kissed and groped each other, whispered to each other and laughed as though there were no-one else around. That was love, but a little selfish, considering the other two women.

Helen finished another bottle, demanding another, silently, and Lucinda wondered whether she would be able to manage her set on stage. A set that she would have to leave and get ready for within only a few moments. Krystal gave Lucinda a look that pleaded not to give Helen any more to drink, not yet at least, and Lucinda agreed.