Chrysalis Days & Butterfly Nights [Wattys 2023 Shortlist]

9

9

For, perhaps, the one hundredth time, Luke gazed out of the window. Apart from the street lights, casting their strange, not-quite-right glow down to the road and pavement below, there was nothing to see. No new cars. Not taxi arriving with lights blazing, announcing to everyone in the street that Luke was taking visitors. Not even a wandering cat, touring its extended dominion. A silent, deserted and vacant.

In truth, that was how the street looked on most nights. He and Elaine had chosen it for that very reason. Out of the way, but not too out of the way. A good neighbourhood with neighbours that were friendly but not cloying. Houses with large hedges to ensure everyone had their privacy, yet not completely cutting themselves off from the rest of the street. Discrete, yet welcoming. They had fallen upon a little piece of perfection and, in her way, Elaine still helped him to stay there. The pension he started receiving after her death paid for the living costs. His own wages paid for him to live.

Curtains fell back into place as Luke looked outside again. He had never felt as nervous or, at least, not as nervous as this for a long while. He didn't know what to expect and didn't want to expect the worst, but horror stories abounded about meeting people on-line. At least, almost all the stories he had read were horror stories. Whatever had compelled him to even think of this had a lot to answer for. He checked the clock on the wall, bare twisted lengths of metal fashioned into a circle and numbers. It wasn't even time for them to arrive.

Too nervous, he began to tidy up once again, checked the fridge and the half-decent bottle of wine, checked Toby, outside, who looked more than happy curled up in a kennel packed with soft toys and blankets. Clammy hands needed wiping again. It felt like a date, but he had made it clear in their messages that it was not. He needed someone to talk to, not sleep with, but it didn't stop his heart from pounding with anticipation.

It hadn't taken long. A quick search on the internet, dismissing those paid sites that invariably led to spam folders becoming bulging, overflowing messes, turned up a few of the more reputable looking sites. One looked perfect, reviews sounded good but, when he tried to access it, it wasn't available. For the biggest crossdresser/transgender site that it proclaimed itself, that seemed strange. The next best one appeared more of a site for hook-ups, but it did have some profiles talking about friendships. A quick sign-up, a few, testing, messages sent and within a couple of hours, he found someone willing to come over.

Mary. Luke hated to admit it, but he always assumed anyone called Mary was old and staid. That didn't matter. Mary had agreed to meet, understanding that it wasn't a hook-up or a date and Luke appreciated that more than he could say. Her pictures weren't too bad, but it wasn't Mary's looks that he had shown interest in. It was her story. He kept that in mind as he heard a car pull up, outside.

"Alright. Luke, I take it?" The man reached out his hand and Luke shook it, hesitant. "Yeah, I'm Mary. I hope you don't mind if I dress here? My wife knows about Mary, but she won't allow me to dress when she's in the house. Fair, I suppose."

"Oh. Uh. Yeah. Bathroom's first door as you turn the stairs." Luke tried to gain control of a face that he knew looked confused. Possibly even terrified. "I'll, uh, get out the, uh, wine."

The man who was Mary gave a knowing smile, almost jogging up the stairs and only now did Luke notice the medium-sized rucksack over his shoulder. It wasn't at all what he had expected. For certain, he hadn't expected Mary to turn up in male-mode, nor that Mary would look so utterly normal. Not effeminate at all. He looked and acted like a man. Uncertain how long it would take Mary to dress, Luke decided to do what he said he would do, set up the wine.

Condensation dribbled down the sides of the bottle, two glasses standing empty beside it. Luke hadn't known what kind of atmosphere to make in the room. Certainly no television, nothing with advertising and nothing romantic. He decided on some old Ambient Trance and set his smart speaker playing that while he waited.