Chapter 54: I Feel Like Shit

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When I heard him say we was done it hit me how much I wanted to be with him but I think we both need a break I was turning him soft and he was turning me crazy. But it hurt me and I began to miss him a lot. I even begin to drop tears and it wasn't a good feeling. But I thought there was any nigga that can flip the script it was Chris cause now I felt like I just got dumped and it hurt. I can't believe what he just said he is really done with me and it's what I wanted but I never thought he would have took it like that. I just wanted a break from him but I guess it is for the best but I do miss him and it do hurt alot. He left and I walked out into the front room where terry was chilling ready to light a blunt and no lie this was going to be the first day I smoke that shit because I needed something to take this pain away.

Terry: Nigga I guess you heard what Chris said huh

Me: Yea I did bey, I hurt bey I really hurt that he really really done with me now

Terry: Nigga and that's what you wanted?

Me: Yea I guess but you know how we Bahamians are we want our way but when you get it your mind changes but I guess it's really for the best.

Terry: mjay real talk I with you on taking a break but don't wait too long bey you going to regret it when he really move on and get serious with someone else. I serious mjay because I never see this dude like that before he look like he was losing it bey and he rushed out and say he gone. That dude love you lil bro you found love, so don't lose it for selfish shit. Everything aint meant to be easy bey but hey don't listen to me I'm just giving you some advice from what I am observing with the too of you. I love your best friend and I about to go in there fool with him right now and I won't give him up easy if one of us fuck up we going to work it out everyone his human nigga.

Me: Lmao oh terry shut up but I understand you bey, but we need a break from each other man I sill sticking with that. Being with Chris was great and really bad I just need a minute to catch myself. Bey give me that joint bey I need something right now to ease my head bey am tired of thinking.

Terry: Lil bro no bruh you a smart dude say no to drugs nigga lol

Me: Bey give me this shit or ill go get my own shit man I know who does sell it round here and I know how to roll it lmao so you better give me it bey, I just need a lil high to forget my problems

Terry: Nigga I aint giving you no weed here smoke this black and mild this aint as bad I don't want you be smoking no weed nigga I aint encouraging that shit let me be hooked and get messed up from it. You know niggas does get lace and go crazy especially the smart niggas they brain does can't handle it. First you get your lil taste, then you smoking it again and again, then you smoke with niggas and that's when you get fucked up. I could control it but I know you cant so smoke that mild and I gern in your room to bother this one lol

Me: Fuck ,yea nigga give me that mild then, say no to drugs lmao but a nigga don't fuck in my bed bey, if anything if yall going to fuck go in your room or my bathroom or something. I am the only one who fucking in that bed

Terry: Chris don't want you no more so who you going to fuck now LMAO

Me: Lmao mudda fuck nigga you petty as a mother fucker dread, I can't believe you just said that to me but that's he wibe man I going to do me. Give me that liter nigga

Terry: Here I going in your room lol (He throws the lighter to me)
I just light up the black and mild and smoked. With every blow I puffed out I tried to release all my problems maybe I should try make up with Chris but then maybe I shouldn't, I'm I being selfish I thought. I was smoking and I took off my shirt I begin to get lil hot. Next thing I know I heard moans and shacks coming from my room lmao. I told this nigga don't fuck in my bed but I guess Shawn know how to keep his man happy and I walked to the door and all I could hear is Shawn mouth. I looked in from the door which was left open and I said yall nigga have no shame man. Shawn was riding terry in my bed and I told yall niggas don't fuck in my bed man. When yall done change them sheets bey and I walked out and close the door laughing. I went back in the kitchen because that mild made me hungry as fuck. I went and whip up some banana pancakes with some fry egg and sausage. Terry shouted we want some too nigga that shit smell good. Lmao my brother is something else he just finish coming up my bed now he want food delivered to his ass. After we ate I told them I was going to the barber I needed a fresh cut for tonight. Being into niggas does really be fucked up when you in the barbershop so much fine niggas does be in the barber shop I does have to control my eyes not to mention my barber dick is very big lmao I always feeling it when I in the chair lmao. I swear he be trying to cock it up on my arm when he cutting my hair lmao. I know ever nigga did that before specially if they barber fine and mine was. I went and got my cut then I went back home. We was chilling and we planned to go to the club I needed to get drunk and party lol and do what normal 17 year olds do.

It was after 10 and we let our parent know we was going out with terry and Dion said he would meet us there and I guess terry told Chris. I got dress I made sure I was sexy dressed in all red with a dark blue jeans and then round 11.30 we went to the club. We were in the club and it was packed and the music was great . They were playing lollipop by lil wayne when we walked in then we went str8 to the bar. I turned around and in walked in Dion looking good as a mother fucker. I aint going to be with him but its ok to look and lust because I still felt like shit he was my distraction. Dion looking like trey songs he had on a long blue jeans with black button down shirt with a black fitted on dam he looked good. I was with a light skin dude so long I forgot how sexy brown skin niggas are. We all was just having fun and just relaxing and drinking I felt better about the hold situation but then incomes Chris and he is not alone. He comes in with his brother Troy and his girlfriend. Chris also was holding a girls hand and the minute I saw that I was crushed and was like this bey can't be serious. I begin to get so so jealous about seeing him with someone else and what terry said kind of hit me when he looked at me but I thought he only could be dealing with this chick to keep me off his mind. I was calm without a doubt he hail everyone and kind of mumbled a hail to me and didn't even look at me. I said ok I took it and I was just drinking and drinking and Troy came to hail me. I was talking with Troy and I looked to the side at this chick all over Chris and he had a grin on his face then he kissed her on her neck. I aint on no bitch type wibe, it aint me and I had enough drinks so I went and ask Dion to take me home but terry and Shawn stayed. Terry looked at me and because he knew why I was leaving and he told me get home safe.

In the car I was silent and was kind of hurt I felt like why am I the one feeling like shit, he is the one that fucked up so why am I feeling like this. It's like he totally switch the situation around on me and have me feeling like am loosing someone good. I love him but I aint going to play these mind games with Chris he know exactly what he doing, a smart mother fucker like I said but I aint going to lie its working. We reach home and mom and dad was sleep and Dion walked me to my room and he stayed for a mine just making sure I was good because I did feel really drunk and sorry to say when am drunk am horny as fuck. I think he saw that from the way I was grabbing my dick and he kissed me but I pushed him off I wanted to but then I didn't want to. I got up to go in the bathroom to get some head ach pills and when I came back to the room Dion was completely naked and dick was stiff and ready, his body was right and I though oh fuck.

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