Aurora Karev

Chapter 104

4th July

Jackson was playing with the twins while Thomas was sleeping in his swing. Rory sat messing around on her phone as Jackson walked in to the kitchen."Hey so Alex called he's going to do some fireworks at his place wanted to know if we wanted to come. He said he asked you but you haven't replied." Jackson says looking at his wife.

"I've been busy taking care of the three children we have. You can take the kids if you want I don't really feel like going anywhere." Rory says not looking up from her phone.

"Rory it's 4th July you love the fireworks and the parties." Jackson says as Rory shook her head.

"People change Jackson. If you want to go then go but I'm not." Rory says as she heads upstairs. Jackson was going to follow her as Thomas started to fuss.Jackson went to pick his son up as he went to make him a bottle.
~
Halloween
Rory turned over staring at the clock as she saw it was 3:42am. She hadn't been able to sleep for the past few weeks. She was constantly tossing and turning. Every time she closed her eyes she kept seeing the car crash replaying in her head.

Rory decided to get changed as she decided to go for a walk to clear her head. The sun had began to rise as her phone wouldn't stop ringing. Rory chose to ignore it as she stood watching the water and ferry boat.

She felt guilty that she survived and Derek wasn't here anymore. She felt it was her fault that Thomas was early and he had to face so much in the little time in his life. Her thoughts continued to drown her as her phone continued to ring.

Alex had gone looking for Rory while Jackson stayed home trying to call her and looking after the kids. It was around 9:30am and she hadn't been heard from in over 6 hours. Alex searched all her usual places before he finally had an idea where she might be.

Alex called Jackson as he set his eyes on his sister relieved she was okay. Rory hadn't moved from her spot still looking out at the water. Alex stood beside her as she didn't move an inch. "You had Jackson going crazy. He's really worried about you. Just walking out of your house at 3:00 in the morning that's not you Rory." Alex said to his sister.

"What is me Alex? Because I don't even know anymore." Rory says as Alex looks at her seeing the pain in her eyes.

"Rory." He said as she shook her head at him.

"How is it fair? Meredith lost her husband and the father of her children. I survived and Thomas survived how is that fair? I couldn't protect my own baby. He could've died because I couldn't protect him. And even now I just feel numb I look at him and I feel numb. Being in that house everyday I feel like I'm drowning. I'm such a bad mom I mean what type of mom walks out on her kids in the middle of the night not telling her husband where she was." Rory says looking at Alex full of anger and frustration to herself.

Alex wrapped his arm around her pulling her to him as she only had a jacket on and was frozen. "You are not a bad mother and you left your kids with their dad." Alex tries to argue as Rory cuts him off.

"Only because he was there what if he wasn't or if next time he's called into emergency surgery. I didn't even think Alex I just walked out of that house." Rory says looking at him as she began to break down as Alex held her pulling her closer to him.
~
Alex took Rory back to his house as she finally fell asleep as he called Jackson telling him everything. Alex talked to Arizona as she explained Rory could be experiencing Postpartum depression.

Rory woke a few hours later as Alex have her a cup of coffee. "Rory I think you should go see Dr Carr he helped you after the plane crash maybe he can help you now." Alex says to his sister.

"I'm fine Alex I just had a bad morning doesn't mean I need to go see my therapist again." Rory says to him.

"This is more than a bad morning Rory." Alex says as Rory shook her head at him.

"Your just as bad as Jackson always hovering and telling me what's what. I'm fine Alex just leave it." Rory says to him as she went to grab her jacket as she headed out.
~
Thanksgiving
Rory saw with Dr Carr as he tapped his pen against his pad of paper. "Are you okay Rory?" Dr Carr asks her as she looks at him.

"I've been struggling since my son was born. I just feel like I'm letting him down and I'm letting Parker and Everly down. I'm tired of blaming myself for everything that's happened. I just feel trapped in my own head sometimes. Most day I can't get out of bed and Jackson is basically raising three kids on his own. I want to be a mom to my kids again and I want my husband to have his wife back." Rory says as Dr Carr smiles at her.

"Rory you should want to get better for yourself too. You are a great mother to your children I'm sure of it and I'm also sure they love you no matter what. I do believe you've shown behaviour for postpartum depression which is quite common especially with everything you've been through. I'm just here to listen and to support you." Dr Carr told her as Rory continued to speak to him.
~
Christmas Eve
Rory sat wrapping the kids presents as the baby monitor went off. Rory headed upstairs as she went into Thomas nursery. "Hey baby boy." Rory says picking him up as she smiled at him rocking him.

Rory had continued her session with Dr Carr and she felt like there was finally light at the end of a long tunnel. She was beginning to find herself again and bonding with Thomas. Things between her and Jackson were still however quite rocky as she had pushed him away.

But Jackson was still always there. Rory was playing Christmas music as she was dancing with Thomas. Jackson and the twins were back as they came running through the door. The twins ran over to Rory as she kneeled down and hugged them.

"Mommy!" Parker exclaimed as she smiled kissing both of their heads as she stood back up.

"I think it's time for you two to get ready for bed because Santa will becoming soon." Rory says as the twins grew excited not really understanding what it meant.

The twins headed up the stairs as Rory followed carrying Thomas. Rory and Jackson bathed all three children. Jackson was getting the twins ready as Rory did Thomas.

Rory sat in bed with Thomas in her lap as the twins climbed each side of her. Rory read them a Christmas story before they went to bed. "Sleep in mommy and daddy's bed?" Everly said as Rory looked at her daughter.

"Not tonight you've got to sleep in your own bed on Christmas Eve." Jackson says to his daughter picking her up as well as Parker and taking them to their room.

Jackson put the twins into the bed as he had redecorated their bedroom early in the year as they were now in toddler beds. Rory put Thomas down in his nursery before heading into her room.

Jackson walked in as he got changed as Rory watched him. Jackson noticed her staring as he looked at her. "You okay?" Jackson questions his wife as she nods not saying anything.

"How did I get lucky enough to have you?" Rory says as Jackson climbed into bed beside her as he turned to face her.

"Rory I'd like to say we're both lucky to have found each other." Jackson says smiling at her.

"After everything I've put you through this year and you're still here." Rory says as Jackson shook his head at her.

"I'll always be here no matter what happens. You were Ill Rory maybe you still are but I'm always going to be right here with you. I'm your husband I love you more than anything always have and I always will. We're in this for the rest of our lives." Jackson says as Rory rests her head against his chest.

"No one id rather be with. I'm glad to have you back." Rory says as Jackson smiles at her also glad to see his wife back.
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A/N- At this point Thomas is 9 months old and the twins are 2 and half. Rory and Jackson are also getting back on track. I hope you liked these last two chapter I wasn't too sure and didn't want to miss anything. But Rory is getting better and she bonding with her son. She's also been back at the hospital for a few months.