Lugubrious Amore

CHAPTER-17

2 months later:-

Raghav's P.O.V

It has been 2 months since I saw Sameeksha. 2 months since I know that I love her. 2 months since I told her that I hate her.

These 2 months have been a living hell for me. I tried to forget my sorrows by drowning myself in work, but it didn't work.

That day, when I came back to the hospital after wandering aimlessly for a while, I found out that Sameeksha was fit enough to get discharged and— as she has lost her memory— she would obviously go to her parents' house.

I kept looking at her but she never looked at me and finally when she did, I saw a raw emotion in her eyes that broke my heart. I saw disgust and hatred for me in her eyes.

She never looked at me like that. Even when we didn't acknowledge the presence of each other after our marriage. And I never want her to look at me like that.

I came out of my thoughts when I heard someone's voice,"Bhai, get out of the room now. It's been 2 months. When will you stop being devdas? Her memory wouldn't come back if you  keep yourself locked inside the room. See, if you don't come downstairs to have lunch right now then mumma would have to drag you down." Tanya said and I sighed.

I walked towards the door, unlocked it and came face to face with a concerned looking Tanya.

"I would come down after taking a shower otherwise mumma would start giving me lectures of cleanliness and hygiene." I joked a bit, trying to remove the concerned look from her face.

She smiled a bit and nodded. When she was out of my sight, I locked the door and entered the bathroom to take a shower.

When the hot water touched my bare skin, my shoulders relaxed and the knot in my stomach loosened a bit.

After showering, I wore a hoodie and black pants and then went downstairs to have lunch.

Since the day Sameeksha lost her memory, I didn't eat with everyone else in the dining room and my family respected my decision. Mumma used to send my breakfast, lunch and dinner in the room itself.

And most of the time, I didn't even go to home because that home and room, reminded of Sameeksha. I always thought that that room was mine but no, it was always ours.

My room became our room since the day Sameeksha crossed the threshold of the house. I just realised it very late.

Nobody spoke a word which was quite unusual considering my whole family likes to make small talks while eating.

Everyone in my family loved and adored Sameeksha more than me. For my parents Bhabhi, Sameeksha and Tanya were like their daughters they never had and so, mumma-papa loved them more than us.

After completing my breakfast, I stood up from the chair and said,"I am going to go to the office."

"But today is Sunday." Tanya said and Abhi nodded.

"I can't bear to stay in this house. It reminds me of Sameeksha so I am going to drown myself in work."

Mumma sighed and said,"Dear, you can't do that. I know that you love her and you can't stay away from her but try to understand. It may take 2 years or more for her to heal from the amnesia and you can't just keep ignoring everyone's presence like that."

"I know, mum. But I can't help it. Every corner of this house reminds me of her. Every corner of our room reminds me of her."

"You can do anything you wish to do, Raghav. I am not asking you to move on or marry someone else. I am just asking you to stop tiring yourself and stop ignoring everyone's presence. We supported your decision of eating in your room because we knew you wanted space and some alone time but now you wouldn't get any of that. You would follow our former rules of eating in the dining room with everyone else. And come back before 7 in the evening. No excuses would be entertained."

"Fine. I will try."

After that, I turned around and started walking towards the main gate to the garage.

I opened the car's door and sat inside the driver's seat.

The whole car ride was silent. My thoughts kept wandering from work to Sameeksha.

When I reached the office, I immediately engrossed myself in  work otherwise I would keep thinking about her without realising it.

At sharp 6:30, I left the office and drove back towards home.

I entered inside and noticed everyone's glum expressions and decided to ask,"What happened? Why are you guys sitting here with these glum expressions?"

"You would be joining us in a few minutes when you get to know what happened." papa answered my questions while everyone else kept quite.

"Sameeksha is going to London." Bhabhi said

"And Anshika is going with her too." Sid said. I never saw him this sad. And I don't know why exactly he is sad. Either it is because Sameeksha is going or it is because Anshika is going.

And that is when everything settled inside my thick skull.
Sameeksha is going. To London.
Oh my God!

"Are you kidding me?"

"Do we look like we are kidding?" bhai said.

I shook my head and sat beside him, with the same emotion reflecting on my face as everyone else's.

"Why is she leaving?"

"She wakes up in the middle of the night, almost every day, screaming. Sometimes, we just need something new to heal from our disease. And she needs the same thing to heal from her amnesia. She needs a new surrounding, a new environment. So, I suggested her to go to London and settle there until she feels good enough to come back." Tanya explained

"But why go to an entire different country? She can go to any other state to live, right?"

"No. She won't get that peace even if she goes to live in a different state. The environment of India is the same, irrespective of any state. She would need to go to another country if she wants that peace."

"But she would be all alone in an entire different country. How will she manage?"

"She is not alone. Anshika is going with her."

"Ohkay then. I will just freshen up and join you guys for dinner."

I went inside the room and waited for the tears to come out of my eyes, but they didn't. I was numb. I wasn't feeling anything even if I wanted to.

This was insane. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. Trust me, it was really very frustrating. I wanted to let my emotions out but I wasn't able to.

I was probably the first guy who actually wanted to cry but crying  helps, temporarily but it do helps a lot.

I waited for another 2 minutes but still nothing, so I went inside the bathroom and thought about her.

Our lives would have been so better if that accident wouldn't have happened. I would have probably confessed my feelings and she would have probably reciprocated it and we would have been living our happily ever after.

But I guess, nothing is perfect in this world. We don't get anything without suffering.

At first, I wanted to get away from Sameeksha but now, I want to go  close to her as much as possible.
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Do tell me how much you liked the chapter. Or did you even like it?

Anyways, I am sorry for not updating yesterday. I was kinda busy with my studies and all so didn't get time to update and publish.

And I feel pity for Raghav. Poor guy. Sameeksha is leaving him. And she is going to live in a different country.

Before I update the next part, I am  warning you that there is going to be a leap.

So, bye.

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Thankyou❤