Part 19

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TW: This part discusses abuse and death.

It had been a week since I spoke to Victoria. That was the longest I had gone without speaking to her for over a year.

And I was feeling terrible about it.

Victoria saved me. I'm not trying to be dramatic when I say that, but she truly did. Her friendship got me through hell and back in my healing process. She knew things that I hadn't even told Hallie yet.

I wished she had understood. I was really falling for her sister, and I couldn't help it. And it made me feel torn how she would speak about Hallie.

Hallie was my girlfriend. And I don't appreciate someone insulting my girlfriend. Even if it is her older sister and my best friend.

God this is a fucking mess.

Hallie was being very sweet and supportive. She knew it was tough on me- not having Victoria to talk to. She told me Victoria had barely been speaking to her as well. Though that wasn't much different than usual.

I also had anxiety whenever I went into work. Tori hadn't come in yet to visit Giselle, but I always worried that Tori would tell Giselle- in her words- what happened between Jocelyn and I and Giselle would wind up hating me.

My fears became real on the second Saturday in August.

I wasn't training anymore, but I was working with Giselle, I had been. But I noticed that today- she was hardly acknowledging me. Being cold to me. Not participating in friendly banter with me.

She knows.

She knows Tori's side. Not mine.

We had a period during the afternoon where it wasn't busy. There were only a few people in the cafe, and it was just Giselle and I behind bar. Our other co-worker, Micah, was in the back and another co-worker, Allie, was on break.

Giselle was texting and not looking at me.

I decided to try to make conversation. "Any plans after work?" I asked her.
She barely looked my way, "Just grabbing dinner with Tori."

I am not the kind of person that likes to keep things lingering. If there is a problem, I prefer to confront it.

"Is there an issue, Giselle?" I asked her.
She looked up at me, surprised. She must've thought I wasn't going to say anything. "No. There's no issue." she said.
"Really? Are you sure?" I looked at her.
She sighed. "It's just...Tori told me some things. Surprising things about you."
I felt my blood boil.
"Tori has her own side to the story." I said back. I knew my tone was hostile.
"You cheated on your wife. Who was Tori's best friend." Giselle said.
"You don't know the whole story." I said back to Giselle.

She shook her head and went back to her phone.

I was mad.

Of course Tori would leave out the part where Jocelyn abused me. I was absolutely broken when I slept with Kenna. Tori even saw with her own eyes that one of mine was black.

"I'm going outside." I said, "I need some air."

Before Giselle could say a word to me, I walked out from behind the bar and went outside to sit at one of the tables on the side of the building.

And when I saw who was walking toward the door of the building with a bouquet of flowers- I just about lost it.

Tori must've felt me looking at her. Because she turned to me and said, "You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

My past was now in front of me. And she was walking toward me, her Timberland boots making loud steps on the sidewalk. Tori was your typical fuckboy masc lesbian. She had an undercut, always wore her dark hair in a bun, and dressed like a teenage boy. (A/N: No hate to any masc lesbians that might be reading this, I love you all 🫶🏻)

I couldn't help but to roll my eyes as Tori stood in front of me. "Don't act so shocked to see me. You obviously have been talking about me to your fiancé."

"Always a pleasure, Alina. You're such a sweetheart, always have been." Tori said sarcastically, "Oh. Except for the part where you fuck one of your wives best friends. And she dies the night she finds out."

"You're forgetting that said wife was abusive to me for over a year." I said.

I couldn't quite believe that Tori was in front of me. And that we were discussing this.

"No proof." Tori shook her head, "Jocelyn would still be here if it wasn't for you."
"No proof?" I shot back, "You literally saw me with a black eye. You saw Jocelyn shove me."
"A shove is a shove. And I swear you faked that black eye with some makeup." Tori said.

I was seething. This was not something I wanted to revisit. Ever.

"I don't have to explain myself to anyone." I said, standing up, "Especially you, Tori. Fuck you."

I then started walking off to my car before Tori could say anything back. I then called to her, "And tell your fiancé that I quit my job."

Tori shook her head, and then walked inside.

How dare she.

I was shaking when I got into my car. And there was only one person that I could talk to about this. One person that knew the full story.

I found myself calling Victoria.

I don't like crying in front of people or to people. I hate being vulnerable. But the tears were flowing when I called Victoria.

"Alina? Are you okay?" Victoria asked me when I picked up. She sounded shocked that I called her.
"No. I'm not okay at all." I said into the phone.
"What's going on?" Victoria asked me, sounding concerned.
"I saw Tori Banner. She told her fiancé, my co worker...well, now ex co-worker...her side of the story of what happened. And then I saw her and she started accusing me of faking my abuse, like she used to. And then she once again blamed me for Jocelyn's death." I said, breaking down.
"Listen to me, Alina." Victoria said, "In no way are you responsible for Jocelyn's death. It was her choice to get in the car that night belligerent drunk."
"But it was right after she found out about Kenna and I. She was so mad...I tried to stop her. I hate going there, but part of me still doesn't know if she swerved off the road and into that tree on purpose." I said, speaking my worst fears out loud.
"You're never going to know. But Alina, please. It was not your fault. It'll never be your fault. Jocelyn put you through hell and back. I hate to speak ill of the dead, but she did." Victoria said to me.
"Now that she's gone I almost have these rose colored glasses about her and forget how bad the abuse actually was." I said, "I made a mistake fucking Kenna. But I shouldn't have to pay for that forever."

Victoria paused and then said, "Alina. You were 20 years old. You were so young to be dealing with all that shit. You were alone, you were hurt, you were broken and you found comfort in someone else."

I was starting to calm down. "Thank you for talking to me. I wasn't sure if you ever would again." I said.

Victoria chuckled, "I'm still not thrilled. But I'll get over it. How about this- why don't you come over tonight? We can hangout, and then you and Hallie can hangout as well. And do...whatever you two do."
I couldn't help but chuckle as well. "That sounds great." I said, "I guess I'll call Hallie and tell her I'm coming over."
"How about we surprise her?" Victoria said, "She will be thrilled to see you."

Without a second thought about the job I just quit, I drove my car out of that parking lot.

I needed to go see the people that cared about me the most.

Not those from my past who were haunting me.

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