Part 18

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When Jocelyn died and I had nowhere to go- I called Felix.

Though I knew Felix supported me- and was also ousted by our parents- we hadn't spoken much when I moved to North Carolina.

I called Felix crying. My wife died. I couldn't live in our house anymore. I was beaten down and broken from abuse.

Felix paid for a ticket for me to come to his house and figure out what I was going to do. And him and Cora helped me do just that. They helped me enroll in college, figure out my student loans, and they helped move me in.

My first year at University was weird. I kept to myself. I was still trying to heal from everything that happened the years prior. I didn't want to do anything sexual with anyone, let alone be in another relationship.

It wasn't until my senior year, when I met Victoria and started going out with her more, that I realized I could still get the sexual pleasure and gratification in the moment from women- and then let them go after I got what I wanted.

I became a version of myself that I ever thought I would. Someone who used girls for pleasure and then never spoke to them again. Whether that be for a night or a few weeks at a time.

That is how Victoria knows me. Sure, she knows everything that I've been through with Jocelyn. But she also knows me as a player, essentially.

So how the fuck was I going to tell her that I was now dating her sister?

Part of me felt like I should have told Victoria earlier. Rip the bandage off. Now Hallie was my girlfriend. And I had to break it to her.

I told Hallie that I would tell Victoria about us. I knew that if Hallie told Victoria, the reaction could be a lot worse.

I was going out to dinner with Victoria the first Friday in August. We talked often, but not living with her let me have the freedom to see Hallie. She didn't know what I was up to all the time.

I was going to tell Victoria at dinner. I was tired of keeping it a secret. I wanted to be able to go to Victoria's house and act normal around Hallie as well. Around my girlfriend.

I met Victoria at the sushi spot we liked near my house.

She looked beautiful when I saw her- she had come from work, so she was in her blazer, pants, and heels.

"You look like a real adult." I said to her, "Unlike me with my green apron on."
"You'll get there." Victoria said to me, "Also, corporate life is not all it's cracked up to be. Believe me. But how is everything going at work? Tori hasn't come in I hope?"

I had told Victoria about how Giselle is engaged to Tori.

"No, she hasn't." I said, "And I hope it stays that way."
Victoria looked at me and said, "Are you okay, Alina? You're very fidgety."
Victoria was right. I was nervous. I had to tell her about Hallie.
And I had to tell her right now or I was going to explode.

"I'm dating Hallie."

There. I said it.

Victoria stared at me for a moment. She then said, "Are you joking?"
"No. I'm not." I responded.
"So the friend that Hallie has been seeing for over a month...is you?" Victoria looked she she didn't believe me.
"What about when Hallie said she had a date on your a birthday?" Victoria asked me. She still looked like she didn't believe me.
Fuck. Think of something fast.

"It was a cosplay thing for her video games." I said.
"That makes sense." Victoria said, "Hallie doesn't tell us when she does that stuff."
"Are you...mad?" I asked Victoria, carefully.
"I'm not mad." Victoria said, "But I'm confused."
"What are you confused about?" I asked, relieved that she wasn't mad.

Victoria's expression darkened a bit. "I'm confused as to why a girl like you- who has played many other girls for the past year- and has had many opportunities to get into a relationship, would settle for someone like my younger sister?"

I felt my blood start to boil. When Victoria would talk about her "weird little sister" it used to not mean a thing to me.

Now she was talking about my girlfriend. And I knew a whole side of her that Victoria didn't even try to get to know.

"Because I really like her." I responded, "She's kind, she's funny, she listens to what I have to say. We get along really well...and I could see it going somewhere."

Victoria looked at me blankly. She then said, "You do realize that Hallie is a basket case that suffers from severe depression and anxiety? She can't hold a job, she can't hold friendships, she stays up all hours of the night playing video games, she changes her mind about everything every 5 seconds. This is a recipe for disaster, Alina."

I was pissed. It would be one thing for Victoria to get angry that I kept seeing her sister a secret from her. But it was another thing for her to now trash Hallie- my girlfriend- to my face.

"Why can't you accept that I like your sister and all of that doesn't matter to me?" I said to Victoria.

"It'll matter to you. You'll get tired of her." Victoria said.

That was my last straw. I got up from the table.

"What are you doing?" Victoria looked at me, confused.

"I'm leaving." I said, "I'm not going to sit here and take you speaking about Hallie this way."

"So you're choosing her over me?" Victoria asked.

"No. Of course not. I just don't get why having you as my best friend and dating Hallie can't exist in the same space." I said.

"It's too weird, Alina." Victoria said.

"It's really not." I said, and then I turned around, walked to the entrance of the restaurant- and walked out.

I immediately called Hallie when I got in the car. I was shaking after that conversation.

"You're calling me early. That's not a good sign, what happened?" Hallie asked me when she picked up.

"I told her." I said, "And she didn't take it well."

Hallie let out a deep breath, "I had a feeling she wouldn't. Was she mad that it was kept a secret from her?"

"She wasn't mad. She was 'confused' in her words." I said.

"Confused at how her best friend could be dating someone like me?" Hallie asked me.

"How did you know?"

"Victoria seemed to have an idea that I thought you were really nice and also really attractive when I met you the first time." Hallie said, "She told me that you would never go for someone like me. Honestly, her words still affect me and sometimes I do think it's too good to be true that we are dating."

"Hallie. Listen to me." I said, "Nothing Victoria says about you will get to me. I like you for you. I want to get to know you, and I am really enjoying getting to know the real you. Not just the version Victoria knows."

"And I'm glad I got to know you as well and not just the version of you that Victoria described as well." Hallie said, "But I'm sorry. I'm really fucking sorry if this ruined your friendship."

"I think we will be okay." I said, "Victoria just needs time."

"You're right." I said, "She does. I'm just glad I have you."

"And I'm really glad to have you too, Alina." Hallie said.

I spoke to Hallie the rest of the way home. I loved talking to her- but in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but think of Victoria.

I really hoped we could still be friends.

Because I couldn't stand to lose another person.

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