Unexpected. (N.H)

33.

DONT FORGET TO VOTE AND COMMENT PLEASE

33.

It turns out not speaking to the boys was harder than I originally thought.

The last two weeks really made me realize how close I was to them.

The other day I saw a cat shirt like the one Zayn bought and almost sent him a text with a picture of it. Then I saw a vegetable cutter shaped like a carrot and wanted so badly to get it for Louis. I saw a man with huge muscles wearing an 'I heart Ice Cream' shirt on that reminded me of Liam. And I saw a little girl holding a teddy bear with strangely curly hair that was just like Harry's.

After seeing all these I ended up in tears each time.

The boys have texted me a couple times throughout the weeks but it's died down to almost nothing by now.

Zayn still tries. He asks where I am, if I'm okay, why I'm not answering, basic questions like that.

I never answer though. The reminder of starting over never leaves the back of my mind.

I talk to Steve and Ashton everyday. Sometimes I'll send a quick text to Anna but other than that I talk to know one.

My father is always on business trips. It's like I am re-living my childhood except without my mothers constant nagging and bitching.

Right now I was at the store trying to shop for food. Yes, trying. This place is incredibly busy for a Wednesday afternoon, the reason being everything is on sale.

So far I had cookies that technology I shouldn't be eating. I'm trying to be healthy...ish. It's not working out as well as I'd hoped (hence the cookies) but it's the thought that counts.

I've started eating salad and even joined a gym.

I've applied to a couple colleges in the area and a few jobs, all of which include waitressing. I'm staying in the food business and going for a culinary major.

I figured that because people like my cooking and I'm pretty good, I should go for it. Dad is helping me pay, its times like these when I wish I was Kim Kardashian.

I hate that I need my dad for money. I hate the fact that I'm 23 and still don't have a profession. I hate the fact that I don't even have a long term relationship yet. I hate that I'm in fucking Georgia again.

I absolutely hate myself for making my life such a mess.

With a sigh I fight my way to the carrots, deciding to get over myself.

"Excuse me, I was going to get those." A middle aged woman points to the carrots I'm holding.

"So why don't you get different ones?" I question.

"Because i wanted those."

"And I want to be in New York. I want money. I want a fucking job. I want a boyfriend. I want move out of my dads house, but I just can't! We all fucking want things we can't have!" I rant loudly.

By the time I'm finished the store is practically silent. Everyone's eyes are on me.

"Just take the goddamn carrots." I huff, tossing the bag into the ladies hands and rushing out of the store, leaving the cookies behind.

I am mad, so mad. I'm mad at myself for being to selfish. I haven't even asked my own dad how he's been. I've been so self-absorbed in my shit life that I haven't thought to care about anyone but myself.

"Dad!" I scream once I walk into his house, or our house.

"Is something wrong Primrose?" he asks, rushing towards me looking tired and worried.

"Sit." I order. He gives me a strange look before hastily sitting on the sofa. "H-how have you been?" I ask.

"Good...work a lot. Prim, are you okay?" He asks.

"I just wanted to talk to my dad." I smiled. "I haven't for so long."

He smiled, the same one from when I was little when he'd throw me around in the pool we had.

"I've missed you so much Prim. I wish I had time to visit you in New York, when you were there." He frowned.

"It's fine dad, I was busy." I assure him.

"So how's Steve doing?"

And we spent the rest of the night just catching up, exchanging stories, and laughing. I missed this, I missed my dad.

-

I'm sorry this took forever ! I've had no motivation to write lately I'm sorry I'm lazy lol.

Please read my new book 'Peppermint' I'll be updating it more often after Unexpected is finished xx

PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT ??

-soph xx