Lost In tragedy

Chapter 23

Ryder had a hard time falling asleep that night he knew he was tired but he just felt sick, not physically but mentally and emotionally. Ryder sat up in bed and thought to himself, "why mom? Why is this happening to me? I just want it to end please? How do I make it stop?" Ryder cried again surprised that he still had tears. He heard his phone buzzing and he knew it was probably Brooke. He looked at it briefly,

Brooke: Ryder I am worried about you, call me please

He didn't answer he just didn't want to talk to her right now he didn't think she would help him, Tyler could hear him and he debated on going to talk to him. "I am taking him to talk to someone tomorrow" Taylor said, "he might not like that" Tyler said. "I don't care Tyler he is hurting and if he won't talk to us he needs to talk to someone. I am scared he might do something stupid" Taylor said. "He did tell me he has thought about it a lot and every time he thinks of Olivia. I just worry for him so much, and I love him so much" Tyler said. "I do too and that is why I want him to get some help" Taylor said. "I agree he needs help but is forcing him into helping the best way to do it?" Tyler said. "I don't know it might be the only way to be honest" Taylor said. They heard footsteps in the hall and then there door opened, "everything okay?" Tyler asked. "I know you are talking about me" Ryder said, "we are just worried about you" Taylor said. "I get that, I am worried about me too, I can't get the feeling out of my head. It changed me and my girlfriend is worried and I can't even look at her right now without feeling broken. I just want it to go away, I want it all to be over" Ryder said. "Girlfriend?" Tyler said, "Honestly Tyler that is the thing that popped into your head after what he said" Taylor scolded him. "Sorry, Ryder I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling, you have been through so much. I don't understand how to help you and we want you to talk to someone who can, it might be easier if the person has experienced the same things" Tyler said. "Okay, I will talk to someone" Ryder said. "Good, please try to get some sleep honey, its late" Taylor said, "I'll try thank you for caring" Ryder said. Taylor and Tyler both hugged him tight, "we will always care and love you Ryder always" Taylor said. Ryder went back to his room and tried to go to sleep, he had a feeling it was going to be a rough night.

The next morning Tyler and Taylor were both awake, and Tyler was leaving for work, Ryder was still asleep. Taylor called the school to let them know he would not be coming in today, she had him meeting with a therapist. Arlo was licking Ryder he needed to go out and Ryder's door was closed, "Arlo stop" Ryder said as he rolled over, Arlo was not having it he barked and whined, Ryder knew he needed to go out so he just opened his bedroom door. Arlo ran downstairs and Taylor saw the desperation on his face and opened the backdoor for him, she went upstairs, "Ryder you need to get ready to go, I have you meeting the therapist in an hour lets go" Taylor said as she left his room. Ryder groaned he just wanted to crawl under a rock and stay there but he rolled out of bed and dressed. Taylor answered the phone "Hello" she said, "Hi Mrs. Ruzek I am looking for Ryder he is not returning any of my texts or calls" Brooke said, "hang on sweetie" Taylor said as she mouthed "Brooke" to Ryder he shook his head he just couldn't talk to her right now. "He is in the shower love I will let him know you called. "Mrs. Ruzek is he mad at me? I just want to know he is alright" Brooke said. "He is not mad at you sweetie I am sure of it, he is just going through somethings. I assure you he is alright and will see you tomorrow" Taylor said. "Wait tomorrow not today?" Brooke said, "no he has an appointment today won't be coming to school" Taylor said. "Okay well let him know I am worried and that I care about him" Brooke said. "I will bye Brooke" Taylor said as she hung up, "she is worried to bud" Taylor said, Ryder rolled his eyes he hated feeling pitied.

They saw Olivia on her way to school and she was so happy to see him Ryder had to pretend with her as he really didn't want her to know. "Bye Ryder I love you" Olivia said, "Love you to Olivia" Ryder said back even though right now he didn't feel like he should love anyone as he didn't love himself. They arrived at the therapists office and it was a beautiful building Ryder was not expecting that. Taylor signed Ryder in and they sat in the waiting room, Sylvia came down and talked to Taylor as she worked in this building, "Bonnie is just with another client she will be with him shortly is he still struggling?" Sylvia asked. "Yes more so then ever, he hates when we talk about him though" Taylor said. "All teens do, she will help Bonnie is amazing, and she has dealt with a lot of the same things she will be able to relate" Sylvia said. Ryder took a deep breath he just didn't know if he could talk about this especially with a stranger. He has been bottling everything up for so long that he just didn't know if he wanted everyone to know. He had secrets that no one knew and things that he never told anyone and he was scared to tell them. Bonnie came down and introduced herself, "Hi I am Bonnie you must be Ryder, I want you to know everything we talk about is between me and you. I will not disclose anything you say to anyone, and you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to" Bonnie said. Ryder just stared at her, "shall we go into my office" Bonnie said as Ryder followed her turning briefly to look at his mom who gave him a thumbs up.