Keeping Secrets

After

PEYTON

In hindsight, I should have worried about that picture of me and Beau, because it got a lot more attention than I ever thought it would. And I had been worried about it initially, but Mandi told me it wasn't that big of a deal, and talked me down like usual.

"People forget, Peyton," she said. "And I bet most of the people you know were drunk last night. They might not even have seen the picture."

I had hoped she was right, but she wasn't. A lot of people had seen that photo. Amanda had been more sympathetic after that.

The gossiping started shortly after they posted the photos, but it didn't get bad until later that afternoon, when we were already back home. The first person to reach out to me directly was a girl me and Amanda had gone to school with all our lives. Her text said "OMG! U and Beau???" And then the messages just continued from there.

I heard from people I went to high school with. People who hadn't bothered to reach out to me since graduation, and even a few girls from the grade above me that had never talked to me. But now, because of that one picture from New Year's eve, they all wanted to see "how I was doing."

Yeah right. Because it had nothing to do with the famous rock star next to me in that picture.

"I know, P," Amanda said when I complained. And I knew she did. She knew what it was like to be associated with a famous musician and the unwanted attention it brought.

A couple of girls from my dorm texted me as well, but they wanted the actual story, not truly believing what the media put out there, which made me feel slightly better. Not that I was willing to share the true story with them, nonetheless. And in a way, the media wasn't completely wrong...

Lynn and Becca set up a group call where they harassed me for over an hour in order to get all the details. I shared some things with them. Like the fact that I knew the Trudge Lite members and that Justin and Amanda were cousins. I even showed them a picture of all of us from the fall concert.

"What the hell?" Becca had groaned. "How could you keep that from us all this time?"

"We had a game during the concert," Lin had said in my defense.

"True, but still. Freaking Trudge Lite!" Becca complained."That's insane!"

"I think it's very cool," Lin agreed.

"Yeah..." I knew it was, which was exactly why I'd kept my mouth shut.

"We'll see them next time, Bec," Linn suggested, once again calming Becca down a notch.

"For sure." She agreed. "And Peyton, you better tell us the next time you are going so we can come along," Becca had demanded, and I had promised I would.

"And then she had asked, "what does Max say about everything?"

And that was a very good question.

I rolled over on the bed and buried my head into the pillow.

"What?" Becca laughed.

"I haven't told him yet, but I will," I confessed.

"Oh, man," Becca sighed and Linn giggled. "You didn't tell him yet? And he hasn't called you?"

Freaking Becca.

"He has... I just haven't had time to respond yet."

"Sure." She rolled her eyes at me. "I can't wait to hear all about that call, too."

Of course not.

The last thing I heard before I hung up was her laugh.

My parents, however, were not impressed that my picture was in the news. My mom had a bit of a meltdown, and she didn't even know the whole truth. I couldn't imagine what she would do if she knew what happened between me and Beau after that picture.

And my dad, he gave me a big lecture about dating rock stars. Like he had any idea what that was like.

And it wasn't like we were dating...

Max asked about the picture when I texted him back, although he was just curious and not judgemental like some of the others had been. Plus, he had that whole fake relationship going on with me, so I understood he wanted to know where we stood. The problem was that I didn't know exactly what to say.

My response to everyone had been that Beau and I were friends, because in reality that was truly all we were, regardless of whether I wanted more or not. I just had a very difficult time convincing myself of that. Amanda was the only one that knew the truth about the night of New Year's eve. Except for me and Beau, of course.

The gossip sites had posted about the photo as well, and there were interviews with Beau where he got asked who the New Year's Eve girl was. His only response was "a friend" and with his shoulder shrug and cocky smile, he was so convincing it hurt my feelings at first, but I soon realized he was using the same excuse I was.

And in reality, that was all we were. Friends.

It had been one amazing night - one I'd gladly repeat if I got the chance- but I wasn't under some illusion that we were dating or anything like that. Whether I wanted to, was a whole different story.

Amanda gave me sympathetic looks, and I knew she thought we were in the same situation, that we'd both had a one-night stand with a famous musician. But there was one big difference between me and Beau and her and Dane. Beau stayed in touch.

The band was recording in LA. From what I'd been told, there wasn't much time for them to do much other than play in the studio and sleep. They spent as much time as they could recording, so it flattered me when I heard from him, and even more so when he called me babe or beautiful and told me he missed me.

I missed him, too. Especially at night, when the house was quiet. And it was those kinds of things that made me think that there was a possibility for something more between us.

And then I wondered if I was stupid?

For once, I didn't mind that I had to help my mom around the house. I didn't really want to face all the people around town and answer questions that were nobody else's business but my own. A couple of quick trips to the food store was all I managed. But hanging around the house with my mom got old too, and I couldn't wait to get back to school.

At dinner time we were back to listening to my dad re-telling us every second of every game Eli had ever played, while continuing to lecture me on the importance of self respect. What he meant was that he did not approve of the groupy lifestyle he thought I lived. He had no idea what my life was really like, but there was no use to get into with him. And it wasn't like I was going to tell him the truth.

I was counting down the days till I'd see Lynn, Becca, and Max again.