Past, Present, No Future. (Harry Styles)

91. Chocolate

"I would hope so" my mum turned to collect a couple envelopes on the end table, "These are from Zayn and Niall, some are from Beth and Mel as well" she handed me the letters, leaving one in her hand.

I nodded, scanning over the writing on each envelope.

"And this one's from Vanessa" my mum spurted out.

My breathing got stuck, reaching the the card I felt a shocking sensation in my fingers when I took the envelope.

Looking over the paper, I recognised her writing. The way she wrote my name was such a...beautiful thing.

Then I looked at where the card came from.

"Australia?" I choked, meaning not to say it aloud.

"She's quite far, isn't she?"

I nodded, placing the card at the back of all the letters I received.

"Well that's all" my mum perked up, standing from the couch whilst I was still shocked by the letter from Vanessa, "Your sister and I are doing yoga today" her voice got excited.

"Have fun with that mum" I said not meaning for my voice to sound monotone.

By surprise, she brought her arms around me tightly. The smell of her perfume being so soothing.

"I love you baby boy" she whispered into my ear.

I breathed in, feeling my eyes becoming watery from the words.

"I love you too"I breathed, shifting my eyes to Gemma who stood by the door.

Our hug was long, long but comfortable to the point where I almost whined to being pulled apart from her.

I said goodbye to Gemma, giving her one last hug but having her pull me back before I can go.

"Mum has a bad sense of smell but you and I both know my nose is very sensitive" she quietly said into my ear, "Your shirt reeks of weed and alcohol, what the hell are you doing Harry"

I pulled away from our hug, "Goodbye Gems" I smiled, "Love you"

I made my way back down the stone path.

I dropped Stella off at her flat after the visit, anything to have her not look over my shoulder whilst I went over my mail.

I was grateful to have my friends write to me, but a simple text message would've been fine.

I tore open the letter from Niall, after taking out the stationary inside I brought my grey lighter to the unlit cigarette between my lips and flicked it on.

He went on about how things without me there are different, how Beth makes him do stuff with her like go to the shopping center and taking her to the spa. Random shit.

I held my cigarette in my fingers as I held the paper. Reading through the whole thing, I went on to the one from Zayn.

When I read through all of them, reading about change and missing me and how I shouldn't be a pussy about a relationship; fucking Niall.

I breathed slowly, reaching for the last letter from Vanessa.

Why was she in Australia? She didn't tell me she was going to Australia. But I guess she doesn't have too.

I opened the envelope, about to bring the cigarette back to my lips before stopping myself and discarding of it in the ashtray.

I pulled out what seemed to be a postcard from the envelope, seeing the back first I read what was written:

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!

I turned it around, seeing Vanessa's arm wrapped around Gen in front of what seemed to be a beach. But with them was Gen's friends, and Ashton's arm around Vanessa opposite side with both their hands forming rock signs.

Vanessa's tongue was out, and her eyes were closed in joy.

But she looked different, her hair was a lighter shade than is was before. A very light brown, and what I can make out from her shorts and crop top was a new tattoo on her hip.

I hadn't realised how long I was staring at the photo for until my eyes were stinging from keeping them open for so long, or probably the fact that I was at the brim of sobbing my heart out.

She was okay without me. Whilst I was here, trying every way to forget and get rid of the pain, she had already gotten rid of it.

I wiped my eyes, although they were dry, and put the photo aside.

It made me feel hurt, a simple piece of paper.

I want to be with her, I want to lie on the Australian beach with her and wrap my arm around her whilst we take a photo and make crazy signs with our hands and I want to kiss her and tell her I love her. But I can't, because I messed up so bad that this can't be fixed. And that hurts me too.

I took out my phone, dialing a recent number.

"Stella, do you have time for me to come over?"

~ | _ | +

Stella that evening was different, she acted in a complete opposite way than she usually does.

I watched as she lay on the bed, the covers covering her as I got dressed.

"I expect you to be back at the bar tomorrow night. Am I correct?" I said walking to my shoes at the door.

After a moment of no answer I looked up feeling irritated.

"Am I correct?" I said more abruptly making her sit up, "You must be there"

"You don't fucking control me" she snapped having her eyes become dark.

"Who said I was?" I asked, avoiding to look at her as I concentrated on tying my shoelace.

"'You must be there'" she mocked in what she thought sounded like my accent.

"Tomorrow night" I said again opening the flat door and walking out to the building's hallway.

The night was cold and I was surprised it hasn't started snowing yet. It was as if the earth had something wrong with it.

And I thought to myself, even the weather is missing from my life.

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ALL HARRY POV BECAUSE I LIKE TO FUCK YOU PEOPLE UP AND MAKE YOU WONDER WHAT THE FUCK DID VANESSA DO TO HERSELF

So of course, this chapter is a few days ahead from the last chapter. You'll guys will get it by the next chapter (:

Song on le side >>

Chocolate by The 1975