Just ranting

"Just like simulations!"

'"Attention! the Seargent is here! get in formation!"

        The recruits followed their orders without question. Satisfied, the drill instructor stepped aside letting the Seargent inside the room. The Seargent observed each of the soldiers in the room.

Seumadrugs: Rise and shine, ladies! My name is Seargent Seumadrugs. The first and last words I wanna hear out of your stinkin' holes is "sir!" Do I make myself clear?

Everyone: Sir yes sir!

Seumadrugs: My goal is simple: As of right now, you are all maggots! You will not speak until spoken to, you will not sleep unless told to do so! When I ask you to jump, you will reply with "how high?"! Do you get me?

 Everyone: Sir yes sir!

Seumadrugs: Now, today I'm going to teach you maggots something extremely important, drill instructor! bring me the blackboard!

        The instructor nodded and went out of the room, a few moments later he came back with the blackboard.

Seumadrugs: Good, Now Maggots today we're going to learn how to write a military book here on Wattpad.

Recruit: But sir, I don't think we write stories in the army.

Seumadrugs: SHUT THE FUCK UP MAGGOT, DID YOU FORGET WHAT I SAID?!!!

Recruit: N-n-no sir I'm sorry.

Seumadrugs: Alright, the first thing that you need to do before writing the book is to choose what military will the story follow. Now, while there are a lot of different militaries out there, everyone knows that the only ones that really matter are the USMC and the SPETSNAZ!

Seumadrugs: After that, you have to create your main character.

Recruit 2: Sir can we insert ourselves in the story?

Seumadrugs: Maggot you just disobeyed an order but I'll let it slide. Now to answer your question: no, you can insert yourself there.

Recruit 2: Why?

Seumadrugs: Because you are a recruit maggot! everyone knows that recruits can't be the main characters! I mean who would want to see a recruit straight out of BootCamp slowly climbing through the ranks as they fight in a terrible conflict? Don't be an idiot maggot! use your head!

Recruit 2: I'm sorry sir.

Seumadrugs: Since recruits can't be protagonists, the main character has to be either a captain or a lieutenant, sergeants are way too overused and generals and majors are for the finale of the book so you have to be creative!

Seumadrugs: And don't forget that the main character has to be the leader of the squad! the main character has to always be the leader! otherwise, low-life Wattpad users won't read your book!

Seumadrugs: Now for the squad. The squad has to consist of every possible stereotype you see in movies and video games and they have to be separate in classes. The squad will need a medic, a sniper, and a gunner.

Recruit 3: What about the main character?

Seumadrugs: The main character doesn't need a class, because he knows everything! what? Do you think that the main character should have only one role in the squad like the rest of his team? don't be ridiculous! the main character knows how to do everything. Understood?

Recruit 3: Yes sir.

Seumadrugs: Now that you decided everything, your first chapter has to be a bio!

Recruits 4: But bios are bad.

Seumadrugs: Who said that? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?

Recruit 4: I-i did.

Seumarugs: Private, Bios are extremely important! how would the author show and explain every piece of equipment that the soldiers are carrying? in the actual story in an immersive way? NO YOU IDIOT, that's STUPID!

Seumadrugs: After writing the Bio you have the option to write a harem chapter, why? because at some point in the story, bitches will want to get inside the main character's pants!

Recruit 3: Sir when does that happen?

Seumadrugs:  depends on the book, If it's a modern military vs fantasy world then after the third chapter. if it's a modern military vs modern military then it's around chapters 7 and 9.

Recruit 3: but what if the story doesn't have romance, sir?

Seumadrugs: Then your story is worthless!! Every book here on Wattpad needs some pussy! got it?

Recruit 3: Yes sir!

Seumadrugs: That is all for today maggots! DISMISSED!'

      Well....that was weird to write.

      Military books! the ones that make you drop the book after reading the first chapter! after the author spends 3 paragraphs explaining how an m4a1 works.....even though it doesn't work as it should in the story.

      Not gonna lie, I used to love military stories, the ones that take place in a world like that GATE anime and such. dude, so much potential but as always that potential is wasted in generic tropes.

      I already said everything I don't like about the tropes so that's all I wanted to say. thank you very much for reading this book, honestly, I didn't expect this amount of views and votes in my first book. guess I ain't the only one tired of these tropes.

       Again, thank you very much, and sorry for the small chapter. I hope to see you all again in the next one.