FLOWER ARE BETTER WHEN THEY'RE FAKE (COMPLETED)

Chapter 33

I finished cleaning the house around 2 in the morning. I had mopped and lit up one of his many candles- yes, he was that person- which made the house feel cozier than ever. When I finished, I sat on the big chair for a while and watched some TV to wind down. I wasn't ready to go home yet. Just a couple more minutes to myself. I just needed that last bit to myself. 

When I was almost finished with the movie, I opened my phone to a bunch of missed calls and texts. Everyone, from Greyson to Victor's mom, was worried about where I went. When Dani called me again, I paused the movie and thought it was a good idea to head out. I didn't want to worry anybody. I regretted doing it, because it would mean that I would have to face reality again, but I knew I had to. For everyone else. I guess everyone takes turns taking up the responsibility. 

I put all the bags that were going in home the trunk and grabbed the spare keys, locking the door on my way out. I looked at the house in a very nostalgic way, like how you look at your childhood room when you finally move out. I don't know if I am in Victor's will, the court is still reviewing his and Dad's, but I just hope that I have something to remember him by. It felt like this was home now too.

I got in the car, finally thinking about what happened. I fell deeper into my seat as my brain tried to figure out what happened. What did happen? Why all of a sudden? They have only been gone for a few days and we are already falling apart. One thing Dad and Victor always did was make sure we stuck together.

No, I can't let that happen. Not after everything we have been through. We have been through too much together to let it all fall apart now.

I texted in the group chat. We needed to do this. I needed them to realize. I also just wanted to tell everyone that I am alive.

Me: Guys, where are you?

No one responded.

Me: Guys please. We need to talk things out.

Eventually everyone replied. They were at their houses. They were already making the wound a bit deeper. A part of me is glad that they took some fresh air. If they would have been cooped up in the same place for this long I am sure things would've gotten more uglier.

I backed out of the driveway, going to pick them up. I had sort of a game plan in my head as for what to do. I wanted to bring them something that could take us back to a good time.

I picked up Joshua first. I was more worried about him than anybody else right now. After seeing him do what he was about to do and the fight I knew he was beyond exhausted. In the beginning Joshua absolutely loved it. It offered him an escape that nothing else could do. I'm scared in that 10 or 20 years it is going to affect him greatly. I want him to stop but it is extremely impossible. 

When I called him outside I saw the true damage. He was sort of limping as he came towards the car. I had gotten out and was helping him walk towards the car. He leaned against the hood, trying to bear all the pain. His lip was swollen, there was a fresh purpley-blue bruise and the imprint on his cheek, and there was a small cut just above his eyebrow. He was holding a pack of ice against his face to calm down the swelling.

"Where does it hurt?" I asked as I held the ice pack against his face.

"On the inside," he said miserably.

"Joshua, why? You know you can always talk to us if anything is bothering you."

He sighed and said "I know. It's just- I didn't know- I had no ide-" he kept on trying to say something but it wasn't working. "God, I can't think straight!" he eventually yelled out into the night then started to cry.

I held him as he cried into my shoulder. Small tears were balling in the corners of my eyes but I hid it from him. I didn't need him to see it right now. I sucked it up and held him as he let it all out. I patted his back, holding him upright.