Idealogical (Dazai x reader)

Twenty Four: Ice Cream Jealousy

There Y/N went outside now waiting for Chuuya to arrive. And when Chuuya did, he saw her with a blush. Just like how Dazai did with her appearance. Any clothing she wore was considered a beautiful princess in anyone's eyes. "O-oh..y-you look beautiful.." he muttered looking away from her. She giggled and said, "Thank you! Shall we leave?" She held out her hand. He gladly took it as the two decide to leave to the ice cream shop. Y/N paid for her strawberry ice cream as Chuuya paid for his favorite flavor. (Which I am not sure of.)
As they are their ice cream, someone was watching from afar. He saw her hang out with his rival. Just as said. He could not help but feel angry when she saw her near him. How she was laughing with Chuuya, the way she talked to Chuuya, not to mention how she was impressing him with her floral ability. He could not help but feel the envy against his rival. He sighed deeply. But why was he feeling this way? Was he truly falling for Y/N. Was he really jealous of his own partner because he was talking to her.

Just after the small date, she was walking back until she found Dazai near her. He was standing near her, looking down at her. He did not look very happy. He looked serious. Angry? This caused the woman to nervously scratch the back of her head slightly before saying. "Hey Dazai can I help you...?" "Why are you hanging out with this shortie..?"

This caused her eyes to widen. Did Dazai not like her hanging out with Chuuya? What was the problem with that? "It was just ice cream. Not a big deal..." she said looking down. He suddenly grabbed her hand push her to the wall, trapping her with both hands on the sides of her head. This move made her face as red as a tomato. "You are supposed to hang out with me. Don't hang out with lame people like him. I am the one you should be hanging out with." He stated seriously. "But we are not together so who are you to tell me?" She said shrugging a bit.

"But I don't want you to hang out with that freak. Don't just leave my time with him. If you want to spend time together, spend it with me! I will take care of you." His hands went down but he didn't move. "Dazai...this is not you.." suddenly a hand on her cheek which caused a flinch. "I don't know why Y/N, but I do not want to loose you to Chuuya. That kiss from last night..it was so sudden. You and I did not know what we were thinking that time. We were caught in silence as the night sounds came by. Yet ever since that night I can't get it out of my head. I try my best to not think about it but it keeps repeating. Oh Y/N. What did you do to change my heart? Did Odasaku send you to me? Did he send me an angel to find me a reason to live. Please answer me, belladonna." She could not say anything. She really could not. All she could do was look in his eyes.

"If your suffering like me. Tell me. You have been thinking about the time in our garden? Did you ever let go of that memorial moment even if you wanted to throw it away? It's written in your face." He said letting go of her cheek and took her hand on his before moving it to his face. "Your presence is very soothing. Whenever you are around..I'm alive. I was broken during that trauma..but somehow humor came and brought me up again. He told me to become a good man. Even though I'm incapable of being a hero. But now I know by heart that I can be a hero. What is this I am feeling inside?"

I can't even fall in love. No. I don't have the ability to. I'm just a person that killed in the past and trying to become someone that can help people. Despite the fact I really want to die, I want to help others. I was searching for a reason of living. And I believe I finally found it...

Thank you Odasaku..