Chapter 16

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♥️CHAPTER 16 ♥️

ALEC POV 

After hearing it from magnus. All I felt was guilt and anger ..I am regretful.. Once he went into the bedroom and shut the door behind.. I felt like he shut me out from his life for what I did to him.. Everyone was looking at me. I don't know what to say or react.. I didn't look into their faces, I went inside the room silently.. I locked the door and leaned on it , I sat on the floor.. The words he said.. "I was looking for you to come from the woods but you didn't" that word repeating in my head. He looked for help every minute when that bastard threatened him.i am a useless shit after all . 

The way he suffered and Max's life in the forest…God!! he already lost everything in his life. He believes in love and family because of me.. I forced him into this relationship… Now I stab him in his heart.how much I have hurted . I failed to protect him.. What a point in being a true mate and  true alpha.. I Am a useless monster.. I can't give happiness to anyone.. Mikel took him and tortured him to get my power.. And now Victor… he is suffering only Because of me.. I ruined his life indirectly  And he tried to call me so many times but he couldn't reach me. How helpless he felt at that time. He will be fed up with this life with me .. I was so dumb not to notice anything, I trust Victor  blindly.. I said and slapped myself.. 

I am really a bad husband who doesn't take care of his own mate and kid .. He cried in pain all day and  night while  I was building my anger towards him for running away from me  which is actually not his fault … 

he came to see me all alone and he got rewarded by seeing Victor kissing me… I swear I didn't expect that he would take me by surprise but I pushed him away within a second. I would have slapped him if Madzie didn't come in time.. he saw everything.. How much he would have suffered on seeing that.. He came after a long time to see me and that's what happened in front of him, how could he not be angry.. What if he thought I hit on someone because he is not next to him? .. What if he thinks I like Victor? What if he thinks I lived happily without him? What if he thinks I took advantage of his absence? What if he thinks I was dugusting? . These thoughts are killing me.. I don't want to think about it anymore.. 

The way he says he gave birth alone, I died at the moment on hearing that..i am not a person for him.. I am a sadist, that's  what he thinks about me right now… most of all how many mean words I throw at him, he tolerates everything and he kisses me at the end of the day which I didn't return  … I was right.. I am not a good husband for him and I am not capable of his love… I should talk to him and ask him to make a decision… What if he doesn't want us anymore? I am afraid to face him 

The whole day went on in a sheepish way … I can't face him.. I can't eat or sleep.. I can't get his face out of my mind.. Most of all Victor…how. Much I trust him and he threatens Magnus with my life and Max's life .. He made him run away by threatening my madzie's life too…I took good care of him because I promised Raphael.. But now, even if Raphael was here he won't forgive him for what he did.i have this urge to kill him but i couldn't find him anywhere And what am I going to do now??? God… this is killing me… I cried, cried, cried… I broke everything in front of me.. I am losing my  control…. I shift without my control for more than 3 times  on this two days 

"alec!" /izzy knocked on the door in the evening.. "I am not hungry.. Leave" I said looking away.. "alec!! Mom called you so many times why are you not taking the calls at least get out of this room please, you are scaring us" she said and sat next to me… "what you want me to do.. How could I face him now. I am ashamed izzy" I said.. "God!! You look terrible, you went pale and look at your eyes, it's red … you haven't eaten or drunk anything don't hurt yourself Alec …" she said.. I chuckled "my man suffered this much just because of me and did you see how I welcome him when I bring him home?? … I lashed out on him without knowing the truth.. I am really a monster.. He will hate me for real.. He will never want me anymore izzy" I said 

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